I forgot about the insomnia

Completely slipped my mind. Three days of it and a scary episode this morning? Reminded me. I'm so exhausted and I have broken bloodvessels in my eyes that would put me in the running for a character in Twilight. I could play Edward better than Rob at the moment (pale, bloodshot, moody). And even with my big boobs, I would still do a better job, guaranteed, without looking like a constipated paste muncher.

But we are not here to discuss the onset of teenybopper vampire drama. We are here to talk about clomid. The bane of my existence and the only current hope I have of achieving pregnancy. So what was so scary this morning? I woke up. Great right? No. I woke up while DRIVING my car and had no clue where I was. This wasn't a freaky incident of auto pilot people. I made random turns to places I've never gone for any reason and ended up in some neighborhood I've never been in and I WOKE UP. Thank god I did not hit anyone. I don't remember anything for about a 5 mile stretch. It wasn't ME driving. I was really disoriented there for a bit. That is how tired I am people. I'm exhausted and even my reliable autopilot is broken.

I can't even look at myself because of this big red spot in my eye. It's gross. There has been a lot of talk about clomid lately. A lot of Dr's prescribe it without monitoring and without much information. Looking up information online can often be overwhelming and scary, though it should always be done. We are living in an age that the common person can be proactive in their treatment and atleast come prepared with knowledge of what is going on. So here is a comprehensive list of side effects (I know it sounds awful and even the side effects I have, while some of them are on that list they aren't as bad as they sound. I don't sleep, have breast tenderness, a get nauseaus and have some abdominal pain -which for me is the stimulation of my slackass ovaries actually doing their job). There are other symptoms I have but those are the basics. It sounds terrible but considering what I'm trying to gain, I can get through it (with a lot of venting on here. HA!)

So lets talk monitoring for a moment. I admit it. I'm not monitored. I was the first month with sonograms because I had not ovulated in years. I did have a small cyst burst. It was painful but not large enough to damage anything. I ovulated. My ovaries looked good, my tubes are clear (discovered from having an HSG prior to clomid). Because I aggressively chart and check cervical mucous and position, my dr's did not feel it was necessary to continue monitoring me. I got pregnant and they did bloodwork and monitored my progress at that point. I lost the baby but not due to the clomid. So at this point they know clomid works for me, we know how it effects me and we can confirm that i indeed ovulate via charting. I did the research, I know the risks. I also know what insurance covers, and how far away my Dr is and how much time that would require me to take off work which I don't have. I'm comfortable with the decisions between me and my dr. Some people aren't given the choice due to government run healthcare etc. to be monitored. So when we talk about monitoring what are we talking about? Here is a basic monitoring method of clomid.

For some more information about Clomid and monitoring go here. There is a LOT of information out there about this drug. Its not all pretty and its not all good. I advocate monitoring but I don't advocate scaring the crap out of people about it who it literally is not an option for monitoring. Not every country's healthcare is the same as USA and not every insurance provider is decent. It's a fact that we live with. My best advice: be educated about what is going on, about what your options are, what to look for, and make the best choices you can for you. If you have the option to be monitored and the opportunity, by all means, DO IT. Give people the information and suggest places for them to go to be informed. ADVOCATE EDUCATION about anything someone is going to do to their body/about their body/drugs/treatments.

And if you experience a random sleep driving episode, calmly turn around in someones driveway, wave at them, and get thee to starbucks ASAP. ::sips Venti Starbucks daintily::