The Gossip Ladder

I had an interview this morning for a job that has become available in my company. I’m unsure whether I want the job but it never hurts to interview and find out more information on it since it is potentially a pay raise. Unfortunately, I don’t need the added stress at this time on top of the family/pregnancy issues but I’m managing. I hope the added stress does not adversely affect my pregnancy because that is the most important thing in my life right now. I don’t need any more complications in that department.

What I find humorous is how much of a gossip mill this place is. I do not work with the women up in the offices. I work with the men out in the plant in a dirty non luxurious office so I do not get in on the interoffice politics and gossip. However, today, since my interview was in the main offices, I was let in on some of the gossip. There is an intern who has applied for the job as well. Apparently she doesn’t like the competition and the back stabbing and gossiping has begun because it was obvious what I was there for. I had no sooner sat down at my desk after the interview before the receptionist had called to inform me of what was being said that I had “looked at her crossly and she had glared back at me.” W.T.F. She hasn’t even finished her college degree. I noticed she was dressed up when I walked by her but that was about it.

I find it laughable because A) If she’s my only competition (which she’s not, there are candidates from other facilities in both the US and Canada), she doesn’t stand a chance in hell. I have far superior qualifications and a superb resume not to mention a decade on her in age. B) I am not intimidated by her at all and actually feel rather sorry for her from the few opportunities I’ve had to deal with her C) her ego and self-inflated worth is hysterical.

It’s definitely making me reconsider the job even more since I would have to move to that office environment should I accept the job. I’ve always worked with men, now I remember why. If these people only knew how petty that is to me, and that I have far more important things on my plate that surpass this by a mile, they would be ashamed of themselves.

It begs the question as to why human nature, especially in women, is so petty. That whole “high school” mentality never really goes away for a large majority of the population. Its nature to be competitive and many people pull themselves ahead by trying to demean or cause emotional harm etc. to others. I can’t even say that I’m not guilty as I definitely am. I demean stupidity. Stupidity is one of my pet peeves. It’s not a pretty trait in me. I have also acted in a group mentality before. I admit it. The older I get and the more struggle in life I have, the less I do it and maybe that is the key is what life hands you and how your defense mechanisms react. So maybe its part genetics, part society and part experience. I just find it interesting the various forms it takes and in what circumstances.

On the matters of real importance, I’m nervous about having another blood draw this afternoon (okay more nervous about the results) and also excited to get it behind me. I have a good feeling that it will be positive outcome but the fear is there trying to creep in on me. I can’t help it. This constant waiting on information is driving me insane! You always think that the feeling of limbo will pass once pregnancy is achieved, but its just a different waiting period. I’m not sleeping, at all. I’m trying not to stress but that isn’t working. I’m exhausted. I’m going to try and clean my house tonight as the stress of a messy home is taking its toll; I just haven’t had the energy to do anything constructive about it.