8 Month Letter (a month late)

Because I'm backlogged on posts and pictures, I'm just now posting this one. OOPS.

Dear Matthew,

I can scarcely believe you are 8 months old. Day by day I watch you rush headlong into boyhood and leave the baby traits behind. I know it won’t be long before you no longer want to be rocked to sleep, cuddle into my neck and touch my face.
I wallow everyday in your sweetness; trying to store the memories up, for when you’d rather play in the dirt than sit in my lap. For now, you are content to interact with us but growing up too fast. You started crawling a few weeks ago and haven’t stopped or slowed down since. In the past few days you’ve been standing and pulling up. You have even walked while hanging on to my hands, the sofa, and the table.
I glow and encourage each new achievement and while I’m thrilled for each new phase my heart hurts at how fast you are going to leave me behind. Since becoming a crawler, you have graduated to the big boy tub where you crawl and splash and giggle happily every night.
You are enjoying a whole world of new foods and blends, cookies, snacks and crackers. You are still sensitive to textures so you are not crazy about even coarsely mashed adult food, though you are glutton for Thanksgiving Pumpkin Pie and my coffee.
You have started sleeping in your own bed for at least part of the night on most occasions. While I know you need your own space and our bed is quickly growing too small for all three of us, I still enjoy your warm body curled into mine, your breath on my cheek and your little hand gripping me as you dream limitless possibilities.
I love you so much, words can not even say. It seems impossible but my love grows everyday, and while I know you are going to be a great toddler, I can wait for you to get there if you’d like to slow down and be a baby for just a little longer.

For now, you are splish splash baths, frozen waffles, stuffed tree frogs, chasing Truffles the cat, giggles under blankets, open mouth slobbery kisses, toothy grins, and deep hugs.

You are dreams come true, magic and snuggles, peace and Christmas spirit. You are everything good that daddy and I can give you. You have the best of us always in your heart.

All my love,

Momma

Dear Matthew

How is it possible that you are four weeks old today? It seems only yesterday that I got my first glimpse of your precious face and a month has passed already. You are growing so fast that I can't keep up. You are holding your head up and aware of things. You are focusing on the animals on your mobiles, cooing, smiling, and making kissy faces when we kiss you on the mouth. You are grasping at everything and trying to get control of your hands and arms. You have even rolled a few times though I don't think that was all together your idea but more a result of your spastic movements.

Your personality is starting to shine through and you definitely have a little temper. When you get a gas bubble, you have this heartbreaking shuddering cry with big crocodile tears that break my heart. I would literally fight tigers for you if it would keep you from making that pitiful cry.

We've had our bad days with colic but we have managed to get through them, maybe not always with grace but with plenty of love. The good days are amazing. In the early dawn when you look at me with those big blue eyes fresh from sleep as you drink from my breast. The first smile of the day and a soft coo; a sweet nap in your swing as I go about the house hold chores. We are making it work and developing a new pattern and a new life. I know it will change again when I go back to work and the days are passing too fast heading that way, but for today and next week, I know I have you to myself and I'm wallowing in every minute of you.


Your Daddy is completely enamored and ya'll already have this amazing bond. He smothers you in kisses every morning, afternoon and night. He cuddles you, bathes you, snuggles you and I swear the love shines right out of his eyes when he looks at you. I know he wishes he had more time with you but working full time and going to school are hard on him but he's doing it so that in two years he can provide better for you and a possible sibling and have more time as you grow to do boyscouts, sports etc with you.

I can barely remember life before you, and frankly I don't want to. It may have not had nights of fussy colic baby cries but it did not have days of this amazing little baby that you are. I just ask one favor of you as you rush head long to being one month old....please slow down. You are getting so big so fast, already over 8lbs and outgrown your Newborn clothes. Time is running away from me and I'm afraid you will be going off to college in a week.

I love you baby boy, to the moon and beyond for all eternity.

Love,
Mama

Christmas Letter to my son

Dear Matthew,
It's Christmas night and I'm snuggled on the sofa in pajamas with the lights glowing from the Christmas tree thinking of you. I'm actually a little surprised you are not moving more after that last sugar cookie bar I ate but its been a busy day for you too. Today was an amazing day. It was actually a white Christmas which is very rare in North Carolina. We weren't able to stay at Grandma's as long as we normally would because the roads were getting bad and we had a long drive home. Luckily we were able to use Daddy's four wheel drive on the last leg of the journey when things got a tad slippery so you never knew a moment of discomfort that a ditch plus seatbelt might have brought to you but I am VERY Glad we are home and snuggly and safe.

Grandma (or as she wants to be called NANNA) and your Auntie were very excited to feel you move and kick today. I'm sorry they kept pressing on you and aggravated you but thank you for obliging them. It was a very sweet Christmas present.

You would not believe the amount of things we got for you today from the family. You have some great toys and items waiting for your arrival. Daddy and I need to work really hard on your room over the next few weeks so we can have a place to put all this stuff but for now I'm enjoying looking at it piled under the tree and thinking what next Christmas will bring to you. Excitement and bows and papers and boxes because I have no delusions that you will be more interested in that then anything Santa may bring for you!

The endless possibilities and joy are such an amazing thing to think about tonight. I can't wait to see Christmas through your eyes and watch you grow but don't grow too fast okay? Don't grow up on me. For now, you are all mine to hold and love but soon I have to share you with Daddy more and let you grow and explore. While I can't wait for all that, I don't want everything to happen too fast. The greatest present I have this year is feeling you and knowing you are happy and healthy in there. Even as I type this, you are moving and getting comfy and it brings such peace to my life.

Next year, I will be rocking you to sleep under the glow of Christmas lights. Placing you in a warm crib on a peaceful night and reflecting on what an amazing year it was. In years to come, I can see you falling asleep amidst your toys under the tree with dogs curled around you as your daddy gently picks you up and totes you to your room to tuck you in. Such wonderful images to treasure as I think of you tonight. Daddy and I love you with all our hearts and are so happy this year all because of you. You are our true present today, knowing you are with us and we will be meeting you soon. I could not have asked for a better gift and so you have your name. Matthew which means Gift from God and honors Daddy's best friend who is in Heaven. You are truly our gift baby boy and I hope we can gift to you an amazing life full of opportunity, hope and love. Be well sweetheart.

Love,
Your Mama

Letter to My Son

Dear Baby Boy,

We haven’t decided on your name yet. It’s a big decision because you have to live with it the rest of your life. We don’t want to make a mistake and have you hate us for it later. We have picked it out along with a few backups but have not made the official decision yet. If only I could ask you what you wanted to be called…or could see your precious face and know what name would suit you best.

You have no idea what is in store for you though. You have an amazing life ahead of you. Your father and I both have big ideas of things for you to do, activities you may enjoy, and the endless possibilities of what you will turn out to be. None of them matter. Only your happiness matters. We will support you in whatever way you need, whatever you decide to do and whoever you turn out to be.

Until I meet you though, I am dreaming of all the possibilities. I’m imagining the activities that you will enjoy, the things you are going to do as you grow and the pure joy you are going to experience. You will have opportunities to ride horses through the mountain trails with your cousins, have cannonball competitions in the pool with your friends on a hot southern summer day, learn how to garden with your mommy and experience the most amazing flavors like fresh tomatoes off the vine, build birdhouses for boy scouts with your Dad, ride a hay wagon behind your grandpa on his tractor, eat fresh crisp watermelon on your Grandma’s front porch, splash through the waves with your cousins that live on the coast, and frolic in the yard with two doggies that are waiting in unbridled anticipation to be your best friends.

There are so many things you will learn, and unending possibilities of what you can be. You can be a doctor, a lawyer, a true cowboy, a grocery store bag boy or the President of the United States. You can join the military and fight for our freedom like your father and his father before him and/or you can go to college like your parents and grandparents before us. You can start a high school rock band, and make platinum albums or play in the garages. You can fly to the moon or mars or another galaxy all together.

As my favorite author once stated “The knowledge that someone believes in one keeps one trying to make good.” ~ Emilie Loring. Your father and I will always believe in you and help you to make good in your life. To live as happily as possible and weather the storms when they come.

I promise you that no one will ever love you more or believe in you as we already do. Our love can only grow as you do, as we guide you on your journey to becoming a great man that I already feel you are. You will be the best of both of us and a true reflection of how much we love each other. We put everything into having you and we will continue to put everything into making your life an amazing adventure of love and hope and endless possibilities.

My precious little boy, I love you beyond words, beyond time and beyond anything I’ve ever imagined. I carry you with me now and soon will hold you in my arms and gaze upon your perfect face.
Always,

Mom

Happy Birthday Landon!

One year ago, today, a very dear friend of mine gave birth. We rejoiced, we were flooded with love for a new little boy. Consequently I was so giddy and excited I jumped my husband and concieved Bumblebee. Ofcourse on this day, i didn't know I had concieved. (I'm not one of those lucky ones that can feel the sperm and egg meet *wink).

Today started a whirlwind of events that changed my life forever. A day I can never forget. A day marked in the history of my life.

It's been a year and look how far we've come. Landon is so big and increasingly adorable. Bumblebee is playing in heaven.

Nestled in my tummy is Hurricane Ladybug who is brewing up to be a mighty storm in my life as well.

Here we all are, continuing our journey's but touching each other in ways that just over a year ago, we could not imagine much less comprehend.

Landon,
I am wishing you a life full of joy, love and happiness. I hope you achieve everything you set your heart on and remember to be kind to other's along the way. Make friends, no matter how far away, because they will be your rocks. Cling tight to your family and live. Live to the fullest. Grab hold of life and run with it.
Love,
E-auntie K

Letter to my Future

Dear Baby,
A friend told me to write down my wish, my hope, my dream. To put it into words and keep it safe. What is a safer place then in my heart? Everyday I live with the knowledge that there is a child waiting for my heart. I’ve been living so long in this world of limbo waiting to touch you. To hug you, to hold you, and to comfort you. I don’t know who you will be. Whether you are in God’s playground or whether your heartbeat has touched mine before and you are waiting to return. Maybe you are already born waiting to find your way into my home sometime down the road. Maybe you are plural and one of each of the above. That’s fine too.
I don’t know the whens, wheres, whys and hows. I do know love. Wherever, whatever, however you are. The way you make your way into my life matters not. However many of you there are, makes no difference because I already love you. I will always love you and welcome you home.
This journey has forced patience and strength I never knew I possessed. I look around and see what others take for granted. What actions and frustrations come so easily to parents that make me cringe. When they are exhausted, overwhelmed, stressed, they forget the miracle of children. I’ve seen parents snap at a child because they don’t put their shoe on quick enough and they do it in front of strangers or dearly loved extended family. I’ve seen the tears and hurt in that child’s face and I remember those feelings from my youth.
I was not a perfect child and I will not be a perfect parent. I will be an “old” mom and I won’t always remember to be patient or understanding. I will probably lose my temper on occasion but I will never forget the journey and struggle and absolute miracle that you are. I will be the best mom I can be. I will love and protect you all of your life and do my best to give you a solid foundation of faith, family, kindness and knowledge to make your mark on the world.
And while I have written this, my dream, my wish, for you I know that there is no safe place than holding you close to my heart until you come my way. On that day, I will gladly give my heart to you.