Finally, its over. The last physical aspects are done. We can move on in our own time and not my body's time. AF arrived in a flurry of inconvenient cramps and is on her way out the door.
I'm returning to life. We are in discussion as to when we can try again. The Dr. prefers after Third cycle. DH is anxious to begin. I'm not sure when I'll be ready but I know its not right now. I want to pay off the medical bills so it can all be truly over and we can begin anew without this baby hanging heavy over our heads AND our hearts.
I'm scared. I don't know if I am strong enough to go through another miscarriage. Physically or mentally. I'm so afraid that that is what it will be. Months of trying again and the same result. I'm afraid I'll break this time and lose all hope.
You cannot break with so many people to hold you and support you. Though at times, it may feel hopeless and broken, with those who love you by your side, you will never be weak and never break.
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