No Excuses

That is my battlecry this month. With the temperature drop this morning, I'm facing the music. AF is emminent (sp?). As if the two negative pregnancy tests hadn't already told me so. I don't know where this super long LP came from, but apparently its here to stay. Nothing I have found research wise has suggested that a super long LP is a bad thing so I'm not going to worry about it. (If you have information otherwise, please feel free to send it to me!)

I'm going to start the metformin tonight. On cycle day three after the red bitch sings, I will start the Clomid. I've been living with constant allergy symptoms (tight chest, red skin, itchy throat) for a week now. I'm sure its aggrivated by pollen though I know one trip to subway triggered a flair up, but I survived. My meds don't work the best but I don't have the nosebleeds, so I'll deal. The saline solution helps with short term relief and I have managed through without liquid benedryl. It's uncomfortable but so is knowing its been over three years without a baby.

It's uncomfortable to know how broken I am and that time is slipping away from me and I'm out of excuses. Our tax bill is paid and we have a tiny bit of savings left over. I have a permanent job now. My benefits start next month (I have Health insurance through DH but its a lot cheaper through my company) and now I've run the figures, if I get pregnant NEXT cycle, my due date will be AFTER my one year anniversary here (as an employee, I've been here 3 years) and I will qualify for FMLA. I'm four pounds away from the weight goal I set myself and I'm sure I can be there in the next few weeks. I'm out of excuses and my husband has been patient with me.

The count down has started. In just a few weeks I will be a nuerotic time bomb of bitchdom and hot flashes, irratic behavior and whiney. You have been warned.