Subway Tirade aka The Day I lost all class at the Mall

Saturday while shopping, I was having stomach issues. Before we left the mall, I decided to duck into Subway, use the facilities and grab a drink. I had no sooner stepped into the bathroom when someone jerked on the door handle and proceeded to bang on the door. So I yelled out, “someone’s in here!”
I sat down. 30 seconds later they pounded on the door. So I yelled out “Jesus, give me a minute!”
Thus proceeded with continuous pounding and jerking on the door while I sat there with my stomach gurgling about to cry I was so mad. I jerked that door open to not a child doing the pee pee dance but a 25 yo asshole on a cell phone and his Barbie girlfriend beating on the door. I went OFF. It went something like this:

Me: WHAT IS YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM? DO YOU NOT HAVE ANY PATEIENCE AT ALL OR ARE YOU JUST SO FUCKING RUDE BECAUSE YOUR SLACKASS PARENTS NEVER TAUGHT YOU MANNERS? You can’t wait one GD minute to use the fucking restroom and give someone else peace? How would you like to be in there with someone acting like a child beating on the door?

Her: Honey he banged on the door first.

Me: SO HIS LACK OF MANNERS AND PATIENCE TO USE THE WOMEN’S RESTROOM GIVES YOU FREE REAGN TO BE A STUPID INCONSIDERATE LITTLE BITCH? ARE YOU THAT MUCH OF A FUCKING STUPID SHEEP YOU BLINDLY DO WHATEVER YOUR BOYFRIEND DOES? DO YOU REALIZE WHAT A BLIGHT ON SOCIETY YOU ARE IF YOU FOLLOW THIS JACKASS AROUND TAKING ORDERS? And YOU (points at asshole on cell phone). WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? DO YOU NOT HAVE MANNERS OR PATIENCE EITHER? YOU NEED TO LEARN SOME FUCKING RESPECT YOU SACK OF SHIT.

Girl darts in bathroom and slams door. I was two seconds from kicking the door in I was so livid. He stares at me and finally when I start walking away and everyone in the restaurant is cowering and staring he says “Well EXCUSE me” really loud.

So I turn and yell “You’re EXCUSED ASSHOLE.” And storm out.

It took me 3 hours to calm down. I realize I probably handled it poorly with all the cursing but I was so angry and sick to my stomach. I still get furious thinking about it. You know how you think of all the good things to say AFTER a confrontation is over? Yea, that’s me, replaying the various ways I could have handled it. I could have been extremely demeaning and treated them like the trash they were in calm superior lecturing tones. I could have just sat in the bathroom and banged back on the door to piss them off for 30 minutes in passive aggressive splendor. I could have said other things. I didn’t have to use foul language or the Lord’s name in vain (which I feel REALLY bad about). But most of all I WISH my last line had been “THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR YOU.”

What is wrong with people today? Yea, I was not on my best behavior and my language was obnoxious and classless. I get that. I own that. BUT MY GOODNESS, do people not “raise” their children anymore? Why on earth would anyone stand outside a bathroom door and beat on it knowing someone is trying to use the restroom inside? I have never in my life encountered something so rude. Maybe I have. Maybe it just hit home because I was sick to my stomach but I can’t imagine doing that to someone. I’ve been in that situation, where I NEEDED the toilet. Guess what? The men’s room works just as well and you had your BF to stand guard. How difficult is that? Why would you choose to harass a perfect stranger over that option?

I know you can’t tell by my verbal assault (that was in every word in poor taste and definitely made a scene) but I’m a nice person. I always try to be considerate of other people in public places. I would never dream of doing what they did. Maybe they deserved every ounce of what they got but I feel like a horrid person for creating such a trashy scene in public and I can’t let it go because I’m embarrassed over it and yet, still angry about it. I’m opinionated and brash but I try not to draw negative attention because I’m also a slight bit of a snob.

I honestly don’t think if I saw them again, I would apologize, I would probably go off and tell them all the things I thought of AFTER I left. LOL. Oh well. Chalk one more point up on the White Trash board for me. I’ll live with it.