Monday, August 29, 2011

Epiphany: I choose my child

If you don't have Netflix, GET IT. Then go watch the show HEAVY. There is an episode that is so powerful where she states "I've been choosing FOOD over my grandchildren." and that is what I have done my whole life.

I have let my frustrations with weight loss, crash diets, excuses and ultimately my bad relationship with food and my body ruin my future with my hypothetical children. But they aren't hypothetical anymore. I am a mother and I'll be damned if I let food dictate my relationship with my child. I'll be damned if I choose to eat over having a long active life watching my child grow.

I broke down in tears yesterday because once again a CHILD pointed at me in the grocery store and said "WOW, thats one BIG MOM." Not nearly as bad as the previous instance and the mom did lean down and quietly reprimand him in his ear but I'm stalked by children's honesty. This time all I could think was "this is going to be Matthew's friends someday and I'm going to be the reason he is made fun of...for having the "fat mom." FUCK THAT.

That little handle I got on dieting while struggling with fertility? Losing 46 lbs? that was a drop in the bucket compared to the undertaking I'm fixing to launch. Unfortunately food is not like can't just quit it. You have to have it to survive so you are faced with your addiction EVERY.SINGLE.DAY multiple times. But it will not win. It will not win out over my baby.

Food, you have no power over me and my body anymore. Healthy living, hi my name is Krista and I'll be joining you from here on out.

I choose to live and live well, actively and a long time. I CHOOSE my child and my family over my past of bad choices.

Goodbye fat, gluttony and sloth. Hello food scale, points and calorie counting. Hello treadmill. Hello life. Hello my baby boy growing into an amazing man. Hello LIFE.


  1. you are so amazingly strong! You are beautiful inside and outside and you are an AMAZING mother already!!! If you set your mind to it I know you can do it!