Friday, March 27, 2009


Today is the fourth day of Rain. Everything is soaked. Tomorrow will bring a chance of severe storms on top of more rain. No gardening for me.

Break Out!

I am not sure what is going on with my face. I have the occasional pimple but not very often since maturity, but the past few days have been a constant mess of small little pimples all over my forehead, nose, cheeks and well all over my face. I hesitate to call this a sideeffect of Clomid as I do not remember reading it and I haven't really had any other side effects.

I am worried about the lack of CM (as I've never had fertile CM anyway but I since I don't ovulate there wasn't really a need for it) and the possibility of a thin lining. It is ofcourse a wait to see, everyone is different and I refuse to be paranoid about the negative things before anything is proven. I am stubbornly remaining optimistic but it is a little niggling in the back of my head.

In other news, I asked DH if he was ready to begin the sex-athon last night and he said SURE (in a very laid back non committal way which is how he says pretty much everything). So I ended up falling asleep on the sofa watching TV, groggily made my way to bed around 10:30ish fully prepared to snooze and he makes the comment "yep, that's my wife, let's have a sex marathon and then she starts snoring". Well A) I didn't literally mean we had to start it right then and B) I didn't get a lot of excitement nor a jumping of the bones from you buddy 3) its already past bedtime and we both have to work tomorrow and you want to begin it NOW instead of three hours ago when I brought it up? Clomid definately won't work without your part of the equation darling, get with the program.

Sex-athon beginnings tonight: Take 2.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

BOTB Freaks ME Out..ha ha

So, the more I read, the more I hear, the more conversations I have, I try to discuss my concerns, etc. with my husband. Okay, granted, I definately have Babies ON the BRAIN. It doesn't help that I am popping Clomid every night and I have my hopes back up which also means I have a bit of anxiety now. If I succeed in getting pregnant than its "OH SHIT, WHAT NOW?" All the nursery plans, painting, decorating, registering, etc. that I have been looking forward to for TWO years will now be a reality. Is this silly? Maybe. Is it normal? Most definately.

My husband and I have a very open communicative relationship. We share everything, so ofcourse I want to share my thoughts of the day etc. So last night I'm discussing items I've learned about SIDS statistics etc. stemmed from a conversation started on BOTB and his response? "You know, the more you go on the BUMP the more you freak out." (Freak out used loosely here). In a way, I'm sure he's right. In a way, it just makes me laugh because of how he speaks of the BUMP (slightly degrading, slightly miffed, slightly freaking out himself underneath).

Admittedly though, I am a little anxious. We have been trying for so long, that the whole change your life scenario we were prepared for, just became nil. I was tired of the dissappointment, the degradation of not being able to do what my body was designed for etc. I quit looking at baby items, thinking about nursery decor, everything and just started living again as a newlywed. NOW, with renewed hope, its a bit of a freak out. The OMG, no more of this, we must do that, etc. Through the failing economy, the fragileness of jobs etc. in and its more of a freak out. Just because I'm a strong person who has wanted this for SO long, does not mean I am infallible to typical emotional stresses.

Will I be a good mother? Will I be able to provide everything? Will I be able to get it all done? ARE we responsible enough for this? STOP::BREATHE::

DH looks at me last night and says honey, we have a house, land, three horses, a pool, a garden, 2 dogs -one of which is in Earth Dog Trials, cats and a bird. We have successfully taken care of them by ourselves for three years. (I'm hyperventilating thinking of all the work that goes into it by this point, how the hell am I supposed to take care of a child on top of all this? What the hell have I done?) We love each other and all of our furbabies are happy and healthy and EVERYONE who meets them adores them and praises how well we do by them. Who could possibly be better proven to be first time parents than us? Ofcourse he's right.

We are excellent providers for everything in our care. I get run ragged but we always survive. Yea, the pool may not get cleaned as often as it should, my garden may end up with weeds by mid summer, but everyone is fed, cleaned and happy. Even when my toddler nephew (DH's side) lived with us for a few months, I had the cleaning, cooking, feeding him, playing with him, reading to him, putting him to bed thing DOWN PAT. Granted he could walk already but still. I did EXTREMELY well. My nurturing instincts (which ooze from body in overload fashion) kicked right in. I'm a nurturer to the core. I CAN do this and I will be GREAT at it.

It's nice having an occasional freak out and a reminder from DH that we will be good parents. I love my husband but bless his heart he is so laid back and calm and quiet. I am definately the high strung one, and I know while most of everything is happening TO MY BODY, and is all because of MY Problems, that he's in this with me. Now I can relax and pop another Clomid in my mouth tonight. Bring on the Egg.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Lettuce is planted.

Yay. NFT


I realized today, that my brain is not functioning on all cylinders. As I am inputting my temp this morning I realize that today really is the third day....I think.

Saturday I had high temps and bright spotting and cramps. Sunday morning I woke up to major flow and a low temp. I counted Saturday in my head because it was the first day of bright red, but I am thinking maybe Sunday really was day one since it was the first day with significant flow and the temp. drop. EEGATS I've confused myself! In the long run, it probably doesn't matter. However, I did take my first Clomid last night, so do you think it will really make a difference if it was actually day 2 versus 3? Why oh why am I making stupid little mistakes and stressing myself out. STOP BUCKIN RIGHT NOW (and you know it is bad when I start talking to myself, as if I would really listen anyway, what was I thinking?).

Breathe. I'm done. So really, all in all, there is nothing new to report today except for my temporary pscyizophrenic breakdown. Carry on.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Free Clomid

Progesterone: Copay 40.00 for 10 pills.
Clomid: Free
Possibility of Baby: Priceless

As stated before, Blue Cross Blue Shield insurance does not make sense. I never KNOW how much I am going to have to pay out of pocket for medicine at Walgreens. Wierd.

In other news, I miscalculated my cycle days (don't ask me HOW I did this, I just was skewing it in my head). Today is my third day, which means TODAY is the day I start Clomid. Exciting but scary all at the same time.

Today is officially, CYCLE 1 on Clomid. It's like a fresh start. I no longer feel the past two years of barren bitterness. I no longer care about the past 8 months of anovulatory charts. Today is a new day in my TTC journey. (Probably not the most rational way to look at it, but it just feels more positive to me). Time will tell.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

MMM, Pizza, wings and my sofa.

I love my sofa. It is huge and full of feathers. The one reason we bought this sofa is because both DH and I can stretch out on it together and watch TV (DH is 6'7ish and I'm 6'0..okay 5'11 3/4 close enough). This is the sofa that you sink into and have a hard time getting out of and it has TONS of throw pillows on it. To get this bad boy into the house we literally had to remove the entire sliding glass door frame (two doors). My DH complained the entire time because 1) he hated the colors and 2) he and my neighbor had a PITA time trying to get it into the house. I TRIPLE PINK PUFFY HEART my sofa. 1) I personally love the colors 2) It was a steal at the Boyles clearance sale (MSRP: 3999.00 Sale: 999.00) 3)It is the perfect sofa when you feel blah. DH now loves the sofa. It is his favorite place to nap.

So after a day of blood, sweat and tears (literally) I can't wait to curl up on my sofa. Today, while I was waiting on my taxes to be done, I dug out a new garden bed and planted strawberries for my Dad who has a broken foot. The cramps were insane, my low back is on fire, my shoulders hurt and I'm exhausted. I feel that this weekend was not wasted though. I cleaned up/organized a large portion of my home office, my taxes are done, I helped my dad, I worked outside, I spent quality time with my BFF at a midnight release Twilight party, ran into an old local Nestie I haven't seen in awhile and her DH (hugs to Mrs.Dreher if you are reading), read some of my new House of Night book and am now getting Hot Stuffed Crust Pizza Hut Supreme Pizza, cozy sofa time with DH, IBProfen, and a new episode of an enjoyble TV show.

While I am in pain, I am happy. I am thankful for today and all of the blessings God has brought into my life. I don't always remember to be thankful for EVERYTHING that he has blessed us with because I get caught up in the struggles and the hurt. We are truly blessed in many ways and I have to remember that this struggle to have a baby has brought us closer together and we will appreciate every moment of pregnancy and our childs life and it does make me thankful for all the things that did come easy. We are truly blessed in our love, our families (as hateful as some members may be) our furbabies and our home. Thank you Lord for all these things as well as my huge comfy sofa.

"Lettuce" plant

I accomplished something in the garden this weekend. Okay, so it wasn't MY garden but it is accomplishment. While I was waiting for my taxes to be done today, I dug up a garden bed and helped my Dad plant strawberries. Doesn't sound like much, heh? Well, my dad has a broken foot so he hasn't been able to use the tractors or do anything because of bruising and swelling around the I was digging out Pokeberry stumps in an area near his green house as an emergency planting bed. My shoulders HURT! In exchange, he gave me some BEAUTIFUL baby lettuce plants that are ready from the greenhouse. I'm so excited. I don't care how cold it is tomorrow..I'm planting these babies when I get home from work!!

The downside, I promised a few people I would scan in some companion planting guides and planting schedules..and I didn't. I swear, between the stomach ache Saturday and getting all my stuff together to do our taxes, plus being gone all day today I have not had a chance to get this stuff done! (Partly because I have to hunt for the software to download my scanner to this computer since we had to reload the towers awhile back and it hasn't been done so its not just scanning in some papers and uploading..its an involved process).

They are calling for rain next weekend so I will try my best to get this done this week/weekend. Remember Patience is a virtue! ha ha

Yep, My Body Hates Me

A seventeen day cycle. Really? WTH is wrong with my body. Last month, because I was waiting to have the HSG done, I had a marathon cycle. The LONGEST cycle I've had to the point of getting Progesterone to kick start AF. Seventeen days later, I start again, including the cramping, bloating, etc. How is this fair? My mini-chart has to be one of the ugliest charts in history with all its unusually high temps etc. Even today, my temp is high and AF is here. This makes absolutely NO SENSE. The plus side is, I can start my clomid on Tuesday.

I was not expecting to be able to start the Clomid and actually have a minute chance of ovulation and pregnancy for another few weeks (honestly I was fully prepared to have another marathon cycle) so this is kind of exciting. On the other hand, I am supposed to spend my day planting strawberry plants and blueberry bushes for my Dad since he has a broken leg and his plants that he ordered are dying. How am I supposed to deal with these cramps while crouched down in the dirt? Not fun! I just want to lay on a heating pad and pout today. (I'm a champion pouter, I can pout with the best of them. I've had 30 years to practise after all).

I am full on miserable this morning. Even my french toast and coffee has ceased to make me happy. I think I may have to go wallow on the sofa. ugh.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Breaking 5 rules in less than 100 words! WOOT

It is important to us at The Bump that women in all stages of TTC are made to feel welcome on the boards.
Posts such as the on below are against our terms of use. Your account has been temporary disabled for one day – please refrain from making posts such as this in the future.

I think you are the type of woman to poke holes in condoms and do wtf you want to no matter what anyone else wants because you're an overdramatic selfish twat. Making a family should be a happy event for TWO people, not a desperate monologue of backstabbing and trickery that will only end up in emotional trauma and divorce which is not what bringing a child into this world is about.
You want to talk about feeling it slipping away?? Trying being 31 with PCOS, TWO YEARS into legitimately trying and THEN COME FVCKING TALK TO ME. cvntmuffin.

Thank you,

Banned from BOTB

LMAO. This tickles me greatly. It does suck that this is one of my last days that I can nest during the work day but I just think its funny that I affected someone's emotional state so much via the interwebs that they had to seek retribution. Is it sick and twisted that I feel this way? Probably. I admit to being a bitch though. I have never not once denied it. Do I overreact to stupidity and wording? oh yes, I'm sure I do. I'm a very moody person. Does my sarcasm turn into cattiness (or as chefswife says anyone?) or outright highstrung bitchiness...undoubtedly. Do I get upset when someone calls me on it? Nope not at all. They have every right to especially if they do it well. Hell, I will even give them kudo's if they don't lose their cool but I have been highly dissappointed thus far in newbies that attempt this.

For those who have stumbled across my blog, you may have no idea what I'm talking about, and that's okay. Here's a tip: if you join a message board, don't get upset if someone takes you wrong or does not like you. If you want to continue to post there, learn the lingo, the atmosphere (just like you would an IRL dinner party) and don't tuck your tail and run. Just chill out, accept the punches, and it will be fine.

Is it okay for people to act out on a silly internet board. By all means, I call it entertainment and not just when I'm doing the picking. I enjoy the snark and attitude that is thrown at me as well. I am not infallible, and I would hate life if I were. Do I love playing online with others? I absolutely do. I find that people are compassionate, truly caring, supportive, informative and quite amusing over a wide range of personalities. I personally find myself that way as well. Some days I'm snappy, some days I'm mellow. It's all in the name of this great thing we called nature and TTC. No hormonal pills to even out our mood swings. No anxiety pills to control our emotions and brain function. I'm doing it all natural which makes me a natural bitch and I'm proud of it.

I don't know who reported me or what I was reported for. I can only assume that it was my most recent attitude and use of foul language to the previously mentioned Chefswife who didn't particulary care for me. Oh darn. The thing is, while I may jump the gun a bit, I'm always proven right. My banishment only confirms this even more so as reporting someone who "isn't nice" is an incredibly douchey thing to do. Awww did you get your wittle e-feewings hurt? I will wear my banishment like a badge of honor. I've been inducted into the badgirls club. So to whoever you are, thank you. I enjoy the notoriety.


I broke down and bought some OPK's last night. What the heck, I'll try them. My body hates me so bad, that I don't hold out much hope that my body would cooperate and ovulate this month after my HSG, but its been known to happen. Due to my unusually high temps (for me) I decided to do a back up of OPK's. Since my pessimistic ass is also too cheap to spend money on something I really don't think is going to happen, I bought the Target brand. Any insight on the brands from those of you who have tried various ones, is welcome to give me your opinions.

I glanced at the directions (okay, admit it, I'm not the only one that glances, I mean COME ON, how hard is it to POAS and the results graph is right there on the box) and I'll admit to getting a little excited over a faint pink line. After all, I haven't ovulated....well possibly in years....and I've never had a positive pregnancy test so hey, any pink line gets me excited. So I DID break out the full on directions only to realize that the line has to be IDENTICAL OR DARKER than control line to count for anything. A faint pink line on an OPK doesn't mean squat. Ah, atleast there is a nice steadiness to the dissappointment that is my TTC life. I will continue to use them to see what happens but I'm not holding out much hope for the rest of the month. I'm still pinning my hope on Clomid which I'm afraid will doom me to dissappointment. I really do try to look at the bright side of things (I know, its hard to tell right?) but there are some areas in my life that I'm very pessimistic about. This is one of them. I feel like a complete and utter failure at this one thing and that I'm dragging my DH down with me (with his perfect sperm count). I'm tired of being the broken one.

So in retrospect, do I think one OPK test is a clear sign I'm doomed to failure? No, I'm not that stupid. Does it dissappoint me? Yes, I'm only human and any of you who have experienced anovulatory cycles will testity that its not just BFN's that make your heart drop a little more. Is my reaction even a little bit comical though? Yes, I think so. If we can't laugh at ourselves we shouldn't laugh at other's...and as wrong as it is, I enjoy laughing at stupidity. If I couldn't find the humor in my life and circumstances as well as in other's, I would be on a fast train to insanity.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Reality vs Possibility

My husband, bless his heart, likes to annoy me and has no shame. Do not be delluded that men are not gossips. They are worse then most women. My husband has a habit of telling his work buddies about the funny "incidents" that go on at our house, often to my embarrassment. Most embarrassment comes on my part when I have been particularly moody (raging irrational psycho bitch) or we have some assclapping catastrophe (ever gagged so hard you threw up on him? been there, done that and everyone at DH's work knows about it, thanks honey). Well, my dear sweet man of a husband likes to share these incidents with his comrades at work (okay, only a select few of them but still). Yesterday, he shared my dream (and I'm pretty sure expanded on my reaction to it).

The funny thing is, that DICK just recently left this place of employment after several years (he was "laid" off but really they just wanted to get rid of him because he became such a douche) AND Trashley's ex-husband USED to work for this company, SO EVERYONE knows the backstory and all the players. (Follow all that Jerry Springer nonsense?) DH's comrades got a huge kick out of the whole scenario of Dick and his "whore" as well as my being ticked off at DH over a dream.

Apparently, I am not alone in this that I get mad at DH over things he does in my dreams as one of DH's coworkers has actually been exiled to the sofa in the middle of the night for something he "did" in his wife's dream. Atleast I have NEVER taken it THAT far! It still leads me to ponder the vividness of my dreams, the rationality of my dreams and the scary thought that they will get worse, more vivid, etc. during pregnancy.

So the reality is that I'm obsessing so much about TTC that I'm making up more things to obsess about? Are my icecream cravings and wierd dreams phantom symptoms or just coincidence? The Reality is that I have a sweet tooth anyway occasionally and that I have ALWAYS been a vivid dreamer. These "recent" experiences have NOTHING whatsoever to do with TTC or pregnancy. Having said that, it is a very realy POSSIBILITY, that I will experience these things on a larger, more frequent scale during pregnancy since I am prone to them now. THAT is a scary proposition for both my poor DH and me (but possible future entertainment for my readers).

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Another day without Accomplishment

I officially have too many irons in the fire and not enough energy. I'm tired ALL the time, and I know this. I know if I kicked up my energy level and forced myself to do some things, I would get more done but I feel like I'm never getting sleep and its all I can do to get dinner on the table some nights.

Last night, was one of those nights. I did get the planting bench cleaned off, one seed tray set up, and that was it. Tonight, I am bound and determined to get atleast two trays planted. I can't take this anymore. My lights have been put up with a timer on them, and I have nothing to grow. Please, someone, kick my arse into gear.

Non-Pregnancy dreams

Everyone talks about the dreams they have while pregnant. Crazy dreams, orgasmic dreams, gender prediction dreams etc. What does it mean when you have crazy psycho dreams while TTC that stress you the heck out? Like I NEED more stress and sleepless nights that effect my morning temps. How bad can it be you say? Here's the background for this dream so it will make sense: My BFF's DH ditched her (and their two kids) after 9 years of marriage and promptly moved in with her OTHER BFF. He USED to be best friends with my DH but when he ditched his family, he backstabbed all of his friends as well. (No loss to me but I feel sorry for my DH). I know this girl, I call her Trashley and we will call him oh I dunno, DICK, and she knows it is in her best interest to never cross my path. Here's my dream:

Dick calls my DH and says, you don't have to worry, Trashley isn't pregnant afterall she lost the baby so its not yours either anymore. WHAT? My DH slept with her? Even in my DREAM we both knew it was a lie, possibly a trick to break us up just to be evil but I was SOOO upset! Then it gets a little wierd (can it possibly get MORE WIERD?) and Dick says "but I do need to let you know that she has a Sexually Transmitted Disease so you need to get checked out" and DH says "well I guess I need to let my brother know since he REALLY did sleep with her" and I'm just dumbfounded.

In my dream, I experienced so many emotions and I woke up sweating, fists clenched, crying with a big ball of rage lodged in my throat. WTF is wrong with me? I didn't sleep the rest of the night. I tossed and turned and everytime I closed my eyes, I went right back to the dream in my head. I'm tired, I'm cranky and I'm not going to be very pleasant today. I didn't need this added anxiety. I'm becoming bitter even in sleep.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Background/Header Contest

I am completely having a brain meltdown when it comes to decorating my blog. I was thinking of something with an old fashioned baby buggy, neutral colors (aged parchment and latte colors) but I just can't find anything I want...nor have I created anything on Scrapblog I want either.

So for those who have found me, if you are creative one the computer, feel free to create a header for me. Funny, beautiful, snarky, whatever....the best one will get posted (with credit given).

Link to Auntisha's beautiful work on Scrapblog for voting.


The results of my HSG (which in my pain I forgot to post) were good. My tubes are open so it goes back to the non ovulation issue. On my next cycle, I start Clomid. I have mixed feelings and I hear mixed reviews. While it does work for many people it also has side effects (such as drying up CM which I don't have good CM anyway but it may be because I'm not ovulating which is not triggering the fertile CM) etc.

I guess its a wait and see how it works with me type thing since I obviously need help in this department.

On another note, my temperatures are running extremely high for me this month. Odd.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

March: Lion or Lamb?

We have tons of nursery rhymes and old wives tales in the deep south (and all over America) about gardening and weather. March is known for its winds in this part of the country. The saying though is: if March comes in like a lion, it will go out like a lamb. I'm just taking a guess here, but I believe the snow during that first week of March qualifies as a lion. In fact, the past three days full of rain, are quite lion-like as well.

I'm not complaining (really) since we have been prone to a draught the past few summers (more than a few), but this is making it very difficult to get any planting done. We have been confined to the indoors for the most part, which normally would be great except my husband has his twisted agenda list which always comes before my Honey Do list. Meaning: my fabulous planting table he lovingly built for me, is covered in an array of junk while he builds his work bench so I can neither GET to my table nor has he hung the grow lights so that I can plant my seeds that I fussed about for so long.

With this weather, I can not work in the garden either so I'm confined to the house and doing the "domestic" chores (which I'm very good at it and wouldn't get done if I didn't do them) but it is absolutely driving me insane! I want to watch something grow other than my widening rearend. Seriously, I need to be outdoors in sunshine and warm weather, digging in the dirt and moving horse manure, getting exercise and vitamin D so I can retain my sanity. (Okay, I'm exagerating only slightly here).

Every year, an abundance of chores and household projects prevent us from planting on time. EVERY year I complain about getting the garden done late and not having enough time to keep it up properly. This year, is off to the same old start.

Today's Tip: Plant pansies

Friday, March 13, 2009

Not Painful My Ass-HSG

For everyone who told me, it's not that bad, the worst is the possible bad cramps. God Bless you, but Murphy's law of my body doesn't work like that. I'm not sure if I can pick the worst but here's all the bad about this supposed 20 minute process:
1) Laying Spread eagle with the clamp thingie in while four people (1 being a 19 yo student observer) discuss where to go from here
2) Laying spread eagle on a cold xray table while the Dr. runs to the OR to see if he can find really small long forceps or similar "device"
3) Having previously mentioned device clamped on my cervix to "drag" it down to where the Dr. can access it more easily (OMG talk about pain)
4) Having my painfully moved cervix repeatedly bumped by a cathetar trying to break through
5) Laying spread eagle with forceps clamped on newly moved cervix while Dr. Runs to the L&D (four floors up) to search for a smaller cathetar device or smaller probe as my cervix is too high, skinny and closed to get a pipecleaner sized tube through.
6) Having the nurse tell me repeatedly...okay..breathe deep and think happy thoughts
7) The injected dye causing cramps on my already bruised and sore insides
8) My husband arriving in the room while I am bare-assed and bent over in pain to meet my OB ("the man he pays to violate his wife") for the first time and see my XRays.
9) Everyone in the room saying "Wow, we've never seen/experienced anything like that with this simple bizarre"
10) the 20 minute procedure taking a painful 62 minutes.

Thanks for the memories..not.

Please future sweet chubby cheek angel baby, don't make me wait and suffer too much longer before transferring from heaven to my womb. I need some happiness for all this suffering.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

TTC Summary

I decided instead of changing the first post to this, I would just do a new one to summarize TTC up until this blog.

How do I begin? How do I sum up 2 years of TTC into one concise post? Good question. (It can not be a good sign to have writers block this early on.)

Let's keep things simple. Our TTC journey has not been some wild ride of sexcapades (I wish), thermometers, lunch quickies in backseats, nor endless barrage of HPT's. Surprisingly, given the length of time we have been trying it has been a calm affair. I have used a total sum of five peesticks, four of those in the beginning. When you know for a fact (and your chart shoves it in your face month after month) that you are not ovulating, there really isn't much involved. Don't get me wrong, there is a ton of pressure and chart watching (all on me ofcourse) but very little urgency and strip down sweaty sex for the sake of sperm meeting egg only. On the upside, sex has never taken on the joyless stigma of a baby making chore that you so often hear about (and probably one of my husband's biggest fears early on.) Women worry about thinkgs like pooping during delivery, men worry about sex not being fun. WTF.

The fun stuff has come from my slide into a bitter bitchy smartass (thank goodness for finding an outlet on BOTB!) I do not begrudge others BFP's and I share their joy for the most part. It's that occasional idiot who "accidentally" gets KU for the 5th time at 19 years old that sets me into a tailspin. (Not to mention I quit smoking for TTC so I have been a real moody, ill person quite a bit anyway.) Bless my husbands heart he still loves me and wants to have a child with me. Thank the sweet baby Jesus he finds the humor in my dynamite attitude.

We finally got to the point where we couldn't take the easy route anymore (charts don't lie) and after a particularly brutal visit from AF & the Clot Clan, it was back to the Dr. for more than justregular exams. I cried when I was told I have PCOS on 12/27/08. All this wasted time. I was under the impression I was being proactive: pre-pregnancy exam/consultation, pre-natals, trying to eat healthy, lose weight slowly, charting etc. Boy was I dillusional, none of it mattered. My follow up was 01/27/09, where it was decided an HSG and then Clomid were in my immediate future. FINALLY, a plan and progress. So to me, this period of One month is when I truly boarded the TTC rollercoaster ride.

The two previous years have been termed the Kiddie Coaster. Now we have hauled out the big guns and I have had my share of panic moments: OMG are we insane to do this NOW? The economy has changed, our job situations are not the same as two years ago, everything is more expensive yada yada yada. Conclusion: We may very well be insane but we are both ready and both REALLY want a baby. So we are both committed to riding this particular Rollercoaster to the very end no matter how many twists, turns, hills, loops, etc there may be (and I plan on screaming my way through some of it, have no doubt!).

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

In the Beginning

there were two people who fell madly in love. They were married in a most peculiar way in 2006 at Halloween. Shortly thereafter, they decided it was time for two to become three, and began a TTC journey. Two years later, they haven't made it very far down that particular road.

This is my baby story. Please sit back, strap on your seatbelts and enjoy the ride with me.


Thursday, March 5, 2009

March 1st =6" Snow

Pics of Yardwork

Yea..I finally found the camera cord. While we did not have the bobcat, my Dad did bring the big tractor with the scrape so we were able to level out the big ditch in the pasture, scrape the driveway, remove about 10 stumps and fill in the holes and scrape the sacrifice pasture, plus we trimmed up a lot of dead undergrowth around rose bushes etc. Here are pictures of our work. It probably just looks like like a bunch of dirt but I can see the difference!

Above: The garden-beginning to freshen/turn the soil preparing for spring.

Below Pic 1: the newly scraped driveway Below Pic 2: The scraped manure pile=fertilizer

Above Pic 3: Cleaned out brush from side of the house around old rose bushes.
Above Pic 4: Brush pile in backyard from the day's work.


The seeds have arrived after one month. I actually had to write a harsh but polite letter to PineTree Seeds to find out where my order was. They claimed it shipped on February 25th but I have a hard time believing it since it arrived five business days AFTER my letter. Methinks someone forgot the order or wasn't planning on shipping it. Either way, one month even in a busy time is ridiculous.

In addition, when it arrived there was a backorder note for one of my purchases yet they still have my money for it. They could not have told me via email when they sent me a one liner with the ship date (in which they did not even apologize)?

At this moment, I am probably NOT going to reorder from them. I will see how their seeds turn out before I give the final review but I'm a little put out with this company at the moment. So save yourself some trouble for the moment. The prices are good, selection in the catalog seems great, online it is pretty pathetic and underwhelming. Customer Service is lacking and delivery and follow up are currently rated in the FAIL category. Product Quality review is until then, my advice is to not order until checking back with me.