Wednesday, March 11, 2009

TTC Summary

I decided instead of changing the first post to this, I would just do a new one to summarize TTC up until this blog.


How do I begin? How do I sum up 2 years of TTC into one concise post? Good question. (It can not be a good sign to have writers block this early on.)


Let's keep things simple. Our TTC journey has not been some wild ride of sexcapades (I wish), thermometers, lunch quickies in backseats, nor endless barrage of HPT's. Surprisingly, given the length of time we have been trying it has been a calm affair. I have used a total sum of five peesticks, four of those in the beginning. When you know for a fact (and your chart shoves it in your face month after month) that you are not ovulating, there really isn't much involved. Don't get me wrong, there is a ton of pressure and chart watching (all on me ofcourse) but very little urgency and strip down sweaty sex for the sake of sperm meeting egg only. On the upside, sex has never taken on the joyless stigma of a baby making chore that you so often hear about (and probably one of my husband's biggest fears early on.) Women worry about thinkgs like pooping during delivery, men worry about sex not being fun. WTF.


The fun stuff has come from my slide into a bitter bitchy smartass (thank goodness for finding an outlet on BOTB!) I do not begrudge others BFP's and I share their joy for the most part. It's that occasional idiot who "accidentally" gets KU for the 5th time at 19 years old that sets me into a tailspin. (Not to mention I quit smoking for TTC so I have been a real moody, ill person quite a bit anyway.) Bless my husbands heart he still loves me and wants to have a child with me. Thank the sweet baby Jesus he finds the humor in my dynamite attitude.


We finally got to the point where we couldn't take the easy route anymore (charts don't lie) and after a particularly brutal visit from AF & the Clot Clan, it was back to the Dr. for more than justregular exams. I cried when I was told I have PCOS on 12/27/08. All this wasted time. I was under the impression I was being proactive: pre-pregnancy exam/consultation, pre-natals, trying to eat healthy, lose weight slowly, charting etc. Boy was I dillusional, none of it mattered. My follow up was 01/27/09, where it was decided an HSG and then Clomid were in my immediate future. FINALLY, a plan and progress. So to me, this period of One month is when I truly boarded the TTC rollercoaster ride.

The two previous years have been termed the Kiddie Coaster. Now we have hauled out the big guns and I have had my share of panic moments: OMG are we insane to do this NOW? The economy has changed, our job situations are not the same as two years ago, everything is more expensive yada yada yada. Conclusion: We may very well be insane but we are both ready and both REALLY want a baby. So we are both committed to riding this particular Rollercoaster to the very end no matter how many twists, turns, hills, loops, etc there may be (and I plan on screaming my way through some of it, have no doubt!).

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