OPK's

I broke down and bought some OPK's last night. What the heck, I'll try them. My body hates me so bad, that I don't hold out much hope that my body would cooperate and ovulate this month after my HSG, but its been known to happen. Due to my unusually high temps (for me) I decided to do a back up of OPK's. Since my pessimistic ass is also too cheap to spend money on something I really don't think is going to happen, I bought the Target brand. Any insight on the brands from those of you who have tried various ones, is welcome to give me your opinions.

I glanced at the directions (okay, admit it, I'm not the only one that glances, I mean COME ON, how hard is it to POAS and the results graph is right there on the box) and I'll admit to getting a little excited over a faint pink line. After all, I haven't ovulated....well possibly in years....and I've never had a positive pregnancy test so hey, any pink line gets me excited. So I DID break out the full on directions only to realize that the line has to be IDENTICAL OR DARKER than control line to count for anything. A faint pink line on an OPK doesn't mean squat. Ah, atleast there is a nice steadiness to the dissappointment that is my TTC life. I will continue to use them to see what happens but I'm not holding out much hope for the rest of the month. I'm still pinning my hope on Clomid which I'm afraid will doom me to dissappointment. I really do try to look at the bright side of things (I know, its hard to tell right?) but there are some areas in my life that I'm very pessimistic about. This is one of them. I feel like a complete and utter failure at this one thing and that I'm dragging my DH down with me (with his perfect sperm count). I'm tired of being the broken one.

So in retrospect, do I think one OPK test is a clear sign I'm doomed to failure? No, I'm not that stupid. Does it dissappoint me? Yes, I'm only human and any of you who have experienced anovulatory cycles will testity that its not just BFN's that make your heart drop a little more. Is my reaction even a little bit comical though? Yes, I think so. If we can't laugh at ourselves we shouldn't laugh at other's...and as wrong as it is, I enjoy laughing at stupidity. If I couldn't find the humor in my life and circumstances as well as in other's, I would be on a fast train to insanity.