Not Painful My Ass-HSG

For everyone who told me, it's not that bad, the worst is the possible bad cramps. God Bless you, but Murphy's law of my body doesn't work like that. I'm not sure if I can pick the worst but here's all the bad about this supposed 20 minute process:
1) Laying Spread eagle with the clamp thingie in while four people (1 being a 19 yo student observer) discuss where to go from here
2) Laying spread eagle on a cold xray table while the Dr. runs to the OR to see if he can find really small long forceps or similar "device"
3) Having previously mentioned device clamped on my cervix to "drag" it down to where the Dr. can access it more easily (OMG talk about pain)
4) Having my painfully moved cervix repeatedly bumped by a cathetar trying to break through
5) Laying spread eagle with forceps clamped on newly moved cervix while Dr. Runs to the L&D (four floors up) to search for a smaller cathetar device or smaller probe as my cervix is too high, skinny and closed to get a pipecleaner sized tube through.
6) Having the nurse tell me repeatedly...okay..breathe deep and think happy thoughts
7) The injected dye causing cramps on my already bruised and sore insides
8) My husband arriving in the room while I am bare-assed and bent over in pain to meet my OB ("the man he pays to violate his wife") for the first time and see my XRays.
9) Everyone in the room saying "Wow, we've never seen/experienced anything like that with this simple procedure..so bizarre"
10) the 20 minute procedure taking a painful 62 minutes.

Thanks for the memories..not.

Please future sweet chubby cheek angel baby, don't make me wait and suffer too much longer before transferring from heaven to my womb. I need some happiness for all this suffering.