Saturday, December 10, 2011

Growing Up

You would think any number of milestones in my life would make me feel completely grown-up: Graduating College, My first job, Getting married, Getting a House, Turning 30...Having a baby.

I'm an adult. I know this. Every now and again, there's something new that makes me feel like a grown up. Something new that pulls me just a little bit more away from the comfort of my mother's embrace.
This week, I redid my beneficiary forms for my life insurance, accidental insurance and 401k. I've always listed my mother as my beneficiary. When I married, Stephen became my primary and my mother became my contingent. This week, I took my mother off all my forms and placed Matthew as my contingent.
It felt wierd. It feels wierd that now I think in terms of "my family" as my little unit. My Boys. My husband and son. My immediate family is no longer my mom and dad. It's a little stab in the heart but its also right. It's the progression of growing up and continuance. Thier legacy even. It's amazing that a few little forms you've always passed off have such significance when now it's providing for my son's future should I not be able to do so...and taking my mother's name off of them.
I think that's it. The last thing. I'm a grown up. A wife. A mom. the financial controller of my family.
::panic attack has ensued::

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