This morning I came to the realization that nesting isn't really about the baby at all. Having the nursery ready? Yea, that is baby nesting. Making sure the closets are spotless and there is not one dust bunny hiding under a piece of furniture? That's all about me.
Here's what I've come up with to explain away that phenomenon:
1) We know our world is going to crash around our ears. We try to prepare ourselves for sleepless nights, birth recovery etc by making it easy to ignore our normal chores. If the house is spotless, I don't need to clean and cook for the first week of his life!
2)People. We know people are going to stop in for a look at the new baby. Hopefully these are dearly loved ones who won't mind changing a diaper or even throwing a load of laundry in (like my mother) but we have it in our heads that our house has to be company ready and that we can appear to be super mom right off the bat because we have our shit together.
Here's the simple truth though: my house is rarely not company ready. yea, if you catch me by surprise you may see a clump of doghair at the base of a chair leg or a few soda cans & a plate on the coffee table, maybe some dishes in the sink. But that's called: "Lived In." (and yet I always need to apologize for those items when people actually do drop in!) I have some "hot spots" like the laundry monster that is confined to my master bedroom, but who doesn't? No ONE I know!
Furthermore, my kid isn't going to be crawling around on the floor in the first month so if my carpet isn't steam cleaned BEFORE he is born, its okay. I can do it over maternity leave even if I am bleary eyed!
I'm driving my neat freak self further insane trying to make everything "perfect" so that I can enjoy his arrival but I'm losing these last precious moments of anticipation; of being a couple excited and thrilled in these quiet days of impending chaos!
Can I reconcile myself to not stressing and overly cleaning? Probably not, but I think I might be able to give myself a healthy dose of chill pills and allow myself to just clean like normal and not go into frenzy mode busting out the kneepads, toothbrush and clorox for the nooks and crannys.
If for some reason you stop by though and see a pile of clothes needing folded or some dust settling on my hardwood floors in apatch of sunlight? Please don't mention it and call me out for being a slob! Just make a beeline for the happy adorable baby boy to distract you. I'm pretty sure he won't mind a little dirt in his life and will love me and my imperfections because lets be honest, I make damn good cookies, and he will think I am supermom for that alone.