What I shouldn't Have Bought-Blog Dare

I think we all do it and we all end up with it at some point, especially during the Holidays. We overspend, get sucked into marketing gimmicks, and end up with buyer’s remorse. No matter how hard I try, when it comes to the holidays, I overspend. Or more accurately, I give into my husband who overspends. I try to make sure everyone has something, and I stress myself out where there is often no need to do so.

Rather than one particular gift or item this year, there are a number of mistakes I can pinpoint. I shouldn’t have made so many trips to Starbucks. Not only did all those Peppermint Mochas blow the budget but they contributed to the 5lbs I didn’t need to gain. It’s those unexpected small purchases that get me. (Out later than normal, stop and pick up dinner…bam, grocery budget is blown).

I have a very bad habit of feeling guilt over what I own when times are tough. When faced with a credit card bill, I immediately wish I had not gotten anything for Christmas. As if those few purchases my husband made for me, would make the credit card bill vanish. The thing is…what I had under the tree would make very little difference but when I had a legitimate excuse to take something back (the Teflon was scratched), I didn’t exchange it but got the money back. So then I hurt my husband’s feelings but I just get so overwhelmed with the money issues.

I’m not quite sure he really understands how much the money matters stress me out. Maybe it’s because I’m the one that has to do the budget. I pay all the bills, buy the groceries, pay the daycare, and watch the bank account like a hawk. So I see how much money goes out, and how much we aren’t saving, aren’t putting towards a new deck, paying off the loan on the new roof. I literally make myself sick over money all the time, but I feel like an ogre when I say NO on a purchase and usually give in so that I suffer in silence when the pressure of the bills gets to me.

We do okay, but I would like more security in the form of a more diverse portfolio, a higher amount in savings, etc. etc. This is actually the first year we have used credit cards for Christmas in the past 5, and I’m definitely regretting that decision as I know things always come up and our plan to have them paid off within two months will never work out. I second guess myself all the time and regret decisions that are already done.

I used to be a secure person, quick decisions, confident. I’m not sure if it’s the addition of a child/household/etc. but I seem to become less decisive and more intimidated by my own decisions as time goes by. Thus adding to my stress when it comes to the finances. Maybe it’s because I have so much more to lose now. It used to only be me; now it’s my husband, child, house, cars etc. All the responsibility that requires money is overwhelmingly weighing on my shoulders.

So when looking back at the Holiday’s, I have many regrets (none of which involve my son’s gifts) most of which are out of my control or silly. The lesson I have learned though, finally, is to spread the gifting out through the year, save more specifically for the Holidays and go back to making some gifts homemade. I never regret the ones that take more of my time than money. I have this fear that if I don’t get to shop between Thanksgiving and Christmas for gifts, it won’t feel like Christmas. I think its time for new traditions: watching silly Claymation movies with my son, decorating cookies, going to a local church’s Christmas pageant and writing letters to Santa. There should be way less remorse that way when the Holidays are over.

A Look Back at the Unforgettable 2011

There are no huge crowds, alcohol soaked midnight kisses, or giant lighted balls dropping from rooftops. No party hats, drunk strangers, and loud bands. Tonight does not end in a haze of smoke and laden trays of food.

This amazing year will pass, much like it began, watching movies with my husband, the glow of the christmas tree casting soft shadows as the dogs lay in our laps. Except this year, I am not feeling my little boy kicking inside my stomach and dreaming about what he will be like this time next year. No. This year passes with my livingroom floor littered with his childish delights, his warm body tucked into his bed that we lovingly picked out and placed in his decorated room that I stressed over the last detail of.

I can't help but be sad to see 2011 go. It was an amazing year, full of adventure, love, hope, dreams and joy. I look forward to 2012 and watching my son grow but I will always hold 2011 close to my heart and remember it fondly.

Christmas 2011 Captured

This Christmas has been amazing. It was our first Christmas with Matthew and he did so well.

Excitement Mounts leading up to the Big Day:

A tradition is born. Golden Books Christmas Collection has the Story of Jesus, An Animals Christmas and The Night Before Christmas all in one.

OMG. Santa came! (and no, Santa did not bring a cat, but the cat apparently slept all night on the chair Santa did bring!)

We expected him to be interested in the boxes and paper but he actually wanted the toys. He could care less about the paper. He LOVES his new toys (and like any kid totally ignored the clothes. LOL)

Needless to say he had many naps and was oversimulated but it was a fantastic day. It's nice to be at home with a content baby, in our pajamas winding down with the remanants of love and excitement scattered across the floor.

A week of vacation filled with playing with new toys, snuggles, (and sickness thrown in there too) and straightening up. My livingroom now officially looks like there's a kid in the house and not just a few strategically placed infant items. Nooo....Toys R' US actually threw up on my floor. It has truly become a family room...which means I thinks its time to redecorate a little bit to make it more oriented to children (I.E. take out the glass coffee table and the sheer drapes to the floor that he loves to yank on etc.

Santa's Binge Eating Issue

I was joking earlier today on Facebook when I posted "mmmmm then again, these ginger butterscotch cookies are pretty scrumptious too. Maybe I should leave carrot sticks and celery for Santa and save him from his bad binge habits. I mean really, I would only be doing him a favor by keeping these cookies for myself right? The best gift I could give Santa and his OLD ASS JOLLY self would be one more year without a cholesterol fueled artery clogged heartattack. So that settles it: Santa is getting a bottle of water, carrots and celery and a Bayer aspirin. I'm sure he will thank me. ::nomscookies::"

Honestly it made me think though. Being an overweight person, I have pretty much dieted since I was a teenager. I struggle with my weight. In today's ever increasing waistline of a world, we are bombarded with Biggest Loser, Weight Watchers, etc. day in and day out. Guilt assaults us when we have a dessert. We struggle to teach our kids good eating habits and exercise to combat a generation of video game addicts. "Too Fat for Fifteen" wars with Fast Food Commercials and we as parents worry about how to best keep our children healthy and educate them about the issue.

Except at Christmas time. At Christmas we parade out the Jolly much loved FAT GUY who brings them toys in exchange for cookies and milk. It's okay for this guy to binge eat on cookies, in fact we train our kids to bribe him with fattening snacks, but they have to understand its not okay for them? I get that we only leave a serving size (or two) out for him but times that by millions of homes and I'm surprised this guy doesn't kill over before the night is through. We can chalk it up to him being magic and burning a crap ton of calories going up and down chimneys but obviously his calorie intake far exceeds his output since he's so rotund his Belly jiggles like a bowl full of jelly. (and how do you not imagine Bill Cosby in a Santa Suit everytime you hear that line?)

Maybe society should tone down Santa's girth and put HIM on a diet like the rest of us. We may not need so many gym memberships and New Years resolutions if we really did start leaving healthy snacks for Santa.

My joke turned into truth. I really am putting out celery and carrots this year...but just in case, I'm leaving cookies as well. I don't want to piss of Jolly Old St. Nick on Matthew's first year. He will either be pleased I'm thinking of his healthy and giving him options or be pleased that I thought of snacks for his reindeer. Either way, I've got Matthew covered! ha ha

The Great Santa Claus Debate of 2011

I’m pretty much over the Popular Santa Claus debate and numerous articles not only denouncing him but Jesus as well. This new generation of parents is super neurotic and trying so desperately to appear wiser than their parents in how to raise children. I get that technology has come a long way and with an increasing population we have to adapt to new safety standards (upgraded car seats etc.). My question is: Is your life so terrible that you want to change EVERYTHING about your upbringing? Do you hate your parents so much that your superiority complex is forcing you to embrace some skewed version of authenticity and impose it on your child?

This whole Non-lying grasp on reality statement that people are clinging desperately to is pathetic in my opinion. If you are really going to wave that flag at the Holiday Parade than you don’t need to bother with Christmas at all. There is no point in giving your child Barbie dolls, or video games, or Lego’s because that may stimulate their imaginations and playtime fantasy. Don’t bother buying movies and ban all the cartoons because they may develop their willing suspension of disbelief.

When they are nine and asking WHY DO I HAVE TO GO TO BED be prepared to be honest, after all you didn’t tell them there was a Santa Claus so you have to tell them “because you are driving me insane and I need a fucking glass of wine in peace you obnoxious little brat.” That is parenting realism.

Granted I may be given to exaggeration over future scenarios but that’s what happens when you have a sense of humor and overdeveloped imagination. Something I enjoy using when the reality of politics, economy, job etc. come bearing down upon me. You see, reality is harsh enough when you grow up, I can’t see the point in robbing the innocence from children by shoving it down their throats and not nurturing a little harmless fantasy in tradition. Refute my beliefs all you want. Puff up like a rooster and strut your statistics and broken trust sob stories. I will listen (and probably laugh a little to myself because I’m a bitch like that).

While I happily bake cookies for Santa and wrangle my child away from ripping bows off presents and watch The Grinch and The Santa Clause, I’ll think how sad it is for you that you couldn’t appreciate your parent’s efforts to create magic and fun for just a little while for you.

Just as there are an enormous number of posts and articles about defending the stance AGAINST Jesus and Santa Claus (and I refuse to link the ones I’ve read here because that gives them more credit and clicks than they deserve) there are equally a number of defenders that have waxed poetically and written amazing words of encouragement (like Heir to Blair). Thank you for that, but I’m not in the mood to do so.

Perhaps you do catch more flies with honey but I’m sick to death of reading this nonsense. How can you teach your child to believe in something they can’t see is real like Santa and God? REALLY? I’m guessing they had coal in their stockings and have never experienced the empowering embrace of the holy spirit. People who counter the “grace” and beauty of Christmas with “what about the poor, do they not deserve grace and beauty. Does your Jesus not care about them? How do you explain that you monsters? How can your God only favor people with money?”

Do you honestly sit around day after day all year long worrying about how to feed the poor or do you flourish that nugget as a negative morsel for this time of year only? Seriously (and don’t lie, Santa might be believed in then!). You can’t honestly tell me that you live in destitution so that you may help the poor, needy, etc more efficiently.

I work hard for what I have. Am I supposed to rob my child of joy, innocence, pleasure because someone else can’t afford to do that for their child? I donate, volunteer etc. but I’m supposed to feel guilty about Santa visiting my house because I’ve been blessed when he can’t someone else’s? That’s absurd. I’m not robbing my child of something when I bust my ass in order to provide it for him just because someone else doesn’t have the same thing.

You might as well chastise everyone for having the audacity to have the Internet and be able to blog in the first place when there are members of society who are illiterate and do not know how to use computers. Disadvantaged portions of the population who are dependent on government programs and charitable organizations to even live while you sit on your widening asses reading other’s diatribes. Illogical.

If you don’t want to participate in Christmas, then don’t. If you don’t want to believe in Santa, then don’t. If you don’t want to believe in Jesus, then don’t. But don’t ROB others of their freedoms just so you can justify yours. Someone teaching their child about Santa does not afflict you in any capacity. Displaying a Nativity Scene in their yard does not make your eyes bleed. If you believe in nothing, than nothing should bother you. If Santa, God and Jesus are lies, then passing a lit home with carolers singing songs of joy and praise should tickle your funny bone not enrage you and make you want to post signs of denouncement and plaster your accusations on every blog you can find. What is it hurting you whether someone tells their child about Santa and Jesus?

Santa Claus is grace, innocence, giving, beauty, youth, dreams, and spirit. He is twinkling lights, the sound of jingle bells, anticipation, and joy. He is the power to believe in something bigger than oneself. He is an embodiment of the gift of Christmas.

Jesus IS Christmas. He is kindness, charity, beauty and blessings. He loved the little children.

There are so many celebrations at this time of year based on tradition, religion etc that celebrating one does not diminish another. Knowing that some traditions for one stems from traditions from another does not diminish that idea in the least. We are constantly borrowing what we love, upgrading, changing as well as appreciating nostalgia and depending on rituals long loved.

I embrace it all. I wallow in reindeer and church pageants and black Friday shopping. I incorporate trees and movies and baking. I am enriched by love and peace and joy. I embrace Santa and God and Jesus. I delight in Christmas and all the season brings.

Anticipation is Oft Greater than the Event

Where did the time go? I've been so busy shopping, baking, playing, decorating, and crafting that I haven't taken the time to write all these posts I have in my head!

Have you ever found a holiday, a concert, a much anticipated vacation to fall short of expectations? You get so wrapped up in preparations for it, building up the excitement, lost in the details, then BAM! It's all too soon, the day after and your left bewildered and disappointed because your expectations were not met.
We get a week off at Christmas, PAID. (It used to be two but economic conditions have greatly downsized our benefits.) I look forward to it every year, for month's (whom I kidding--all year long). Having experienced the inevitable let down when I blink and find myself sitting at my desk with a four month stretch in front of me with no long weekends in sight, I actually start dreading the vacation time when it arrives.
The excitement building up to it keeps me going and i dread the aftermath during the actual event which means very little enjoyment once its here. There is so much I have to cram into those few days off, that there is no relaxing involved. Not to mention that Christmas is over at that point so it's not like I can enjoy a day of baking and movies in prep for the holiday.
I was eager to spend a lazy week with my son but I need to paint which means a day or two he will have to go daycare. So now I have Mommy guilt but this is the best opportunity to paint.
The disappointment in my awaiting vacation just doesn't seem to end. Do you feel that way?

~T-minus five days till Christmas weekend.

Walking in a Work Wonderland

My coworkers and I decided to have an impromptu decorating party today in our office. (When the boss is away, the employees will play!) A few strands of leftover white lights, some copy paper (misuse of office supplies perhaps?), scissors and a little kindergarten creativity. Add some strands of linked paperclips and before too long we had snowflakes dangling from the ceiling tiles, and all the windows strung with lights.

An MP3 hooked up to computer speakers and Christmas had come to our little office. Human Resources donated a poinsettia from the lobby decorations so we are set with the Christmas cheer. I'm sure my boss will be surprised.

The Devoted Joseph

Amidst the bustle and hustle of the holiday season, we try and take a breath to reflect on the "reason for the season."



The songs we hum "Away In a Manger," "What Child is This," and "Silent Night" vibrate through our heads as sights of tranquil nativity scenes fill our souls and the soft excitement of a child fill our hearts.



Christmas has taken on a new significance for me, opened my awareness to levels of devotion I was previously unaware. My experience in becoming a mother has made me receptive to the magnitude of Mary & Joseph's role in the birth of Jesus.



Every mother assumes the role of Mary. It's easy to hold my son by the glow of a lighted tree (as Pagan as that may be) and imagine great things for him. I can only envisage what Mary must have felt knowing the true enormity of her child's presence.



But when we are consumed with this divine intuition we minimize the role of Joseph, relegating him to a shadowy character beside a manger. I can not help but to see my own husband in this role.



Not unlike Joseph, he has stood by my side through days of labor, watching and protecting both me and our son when I was incapacitated to do so at our own drawn out birth and recovery. While we have not had to flee to another country, he has worked hard and gone back to school in order to male all our lives better.



While times are vastly different, the family structure has not changed all that much. We are still spouses raising children (paying taxes) and often struggling with our spiritual journey. God blessed us with a son, and I have more faith through him than ever before.



I identify our family, our roles with their plight. Can you imagine the significance of raising a child, not of your loins, because an angel foretold that he would change the world? Yet Joseph remained constant to his faith and his wife.



Through our struggles with infertility and loss, Stephen has remained devoted...to me, to our future, to our dream of family. He has become the father I knew he would be. We will raise our son to be kind, hardworking, caring and tolerant. To know God and be the best man we can train him to be.



This Christmas I understand more truly the power of God's gift to the world, the courage of his earthly family, their faith and love for their child and heavenly appointment. This Christmas I remember and am filled with God's light to know how truly blessed I am. As Christmas day draws near, I wish for you all to know peace, joy and remember Jesus, and don't forget the love of father's.

"For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that who so ever shall believe in him shall not perish but have ever lasting life." ~John 3:16

Merry Christmas

Also published at Bloggy Moms

Finding The Spirit of Christmas

It is upon me. What I was lacking by breaking my Black Friday traditions entered my heart last night. It's not contrived or forced or materialistic, but the true reason for the season.

My longtime gal pal (we're talking middle school people so over 22 years) Tonya had an extra ticket to her church's holiday production that her daughter was dancing in. Having heard of this production, I've long wanted to go so seized the opportunity to do so.

On a cold, blustery/rainy night, I kissed my son and husband goodbye, made sure the timer was set for the casserole I left in the oven and ventured out for a southern christian dose of Christmas.

Community Bible Church's, (High Point, NC) Carol's by Candlelight, delighted and surprised me. I've been to a professional rendition of the Nutcracker and Charles Dickens's A Christmas Carol, The Tran-siberian Orchestra, and numerous Broadway Plays but sitting in this small sanctuary in the glow of flames from candelabras flanking the walls, staring at a stage crowded with dancers, orchestra, choir and performers, I was struck by the level of talent displayed before me.

As the story of Christ unfolded, I was touched by the spirit that moved through God's house. If you have ever doubted the Lord's presence I beg of you to find a church that truly believes and presents the biblical message out of love. When your eyes begin to water, your heart beats stronger, your skin tingles and you feel warmth like a warm hug wrapping around you...that's the spirit of God. When I find that, I am once again centered and at Peace.

That feeling stayed through the whole production.

Unforgettable Moments:

When Rusty Evans sang King Jesus is His Name performing as King Herod with his deep voice resonating, I was awestruck and had chills. This man needs to be doing voice overs for Disney. He is fantastic.

Likewise the voices of Pamela Sansour and Jessica Neumanngave me goose flesh. Pamela's smoky voice seeps deep into your soul like warm cider by a fire while Jessica's clear voice rings out like a bell on a crisp cold night to lift your heart in joy.

The Men's aCapella rendition of the 12 Days of Christmas was hilarious and had any Barber shop Quartet beat hands down.

The Irish tap dancing would make my ancestors proud to see.

Most of all, the joy of Christmas and my Lord's gift to us was given to me again. I left with a renewed spirit and looking forward to the rest of the holiday season. My heart is full of Christmas Joy and i encourage you all to find that this season.

Community Bible Church has nightly performances through December 10th of Carols by Candlelight. For $10.00, I recommend you going if you are close to the Triad of North Carolina. Show Starts at 7pm.

Disclaimer: I am not a member of or affiliated with Community Bible Church, Hayworth Wesleyan Church or Arts Evangelica who put on the production. I was not solicited or paid to endorse their presentation and I do it of my own free will and the sentiment is completely my own without influence.

Merry Christmas

Better than a Firework

Genesis 9:12-13
And God said, “This is the sign of the covenant that I make between me and you and every living creature that is with you, for all future generations: I have set my bow in the cloud, and it shall be a sign of the covenant between me and the earth.

Happy 4th of July

This is the first July 4th that I have not hosted my annual pool party. We had downsized this year to just immediate family. We cancelled even that at the last minute last night because my husband was severely stressed out with the amount of work to be done, his to do list, and getting behind in school. We went to bed at odds with each other last night which never happens.

Our pool isn't swimmable. The water is finally clear, the algae is dead but we are still trying to get the debris (dead algae film and leaves) off the bottom. It will be a few more days. He's fighting that in the 90 degree heat.

I have to admit, I had hoped to automatically incorporate the babe into our lives and celebrate each holiday from the get go. I feel VERY out of sorts not doing anything on the 4th as it has always been one of my big hostessing holidays. It makes me a little angry. I bought the baby a special outfit (not the one pictured above).

I am determined to salvage something out of today later. Even if its just the two of us eating meatloaf sandwiches and fruit and watching a movie. Afterall I have 15 pounds of hamburger, a whole watermelon and pineapple and the makings for a dessert because I had planned for a party of 10 when I went shopping yesterday.

I don't want to be one of those people that cancels plans because I have a child. He is not the ultimate reason I cancelled. I cancelled because of our stress in maintaining and doing everything which has become a little difficult with a child. He is worth every cancelled plan, every holiday at home watching a hoarders marathon but I want him to have a full happy life..including 4th of July Pool parties.

Happy Fathers Day

Here Daddy, we got you something! Thank you! See how sweet my mornings have become? Thats the best gift either of us could ask for.

Video Link on Youtube of their morning chat:
http://youtu.be/vI8f3SUHAgA

Today...

is Mother's Day. Happy Mother's Day to those who hold your babies in your arms and those who hold your babies in your hearts while the angels rock them.

This is my first with my baby in my arms and its a little bittersweet. There is nothing different today than yesterday except the memories of last year haunting me.

Today we are spending a quiet day, holding our babe. I took a nap with him sleeping on my chest but its hard not to shed a few tears today. In happiness, in rememberance, in love and in joy.

My heart is with the other mothers who may not be quite as lucky as me but are mother's in their hearts, in their souls. To the other Mother's who are celebrating life on this day but who have known other days of hardship as well.

Happy Mother's Day to all my girls, all the mothers.

Sweet Potato Casserole

This is a recipe that I've been meaning to post since Thanksgiving. It's one of those simple things that everyone has a take on but is always included at Holiday meals. Unless you are me, and your baby just happens to get on a Sweet Potato Casserole kick and demand it of you every other week until your husband wants to throw it at you every time it shows up on the dinner table.

I can honestly say we have eaten Thanksgiving dinner several times since then, including yesterday (which is after Christmas). Sweet Potatoes are a super food though, so I have regulated the guilt to the back of my mind, though I could probably attribute a few of these 20 lbs I've gained in the 27 weeks of pregnancy to sweet potato casserole.

Sweet Potato Casserole
4 large sweet potatoes, peeled and cubed
1 cup drained crushed pineapple (or more if you like it)
1 cup light packed brown sugar
1 tbs cinnamon
4 tbs butter (optional really but I'm from the south, we like butter with everything)
Large or Small Marshmellows (your choice and I vary it depending on what I happen to have on hand).

Directions:
Boil sweet potatoes in salted water until tender. Process through a Potato Ricer or mash until smooth. Place all ingredients in a casserole dish, mix well and top with Marshmellows. Bake in a 350 degree oven for 20 minutes or until Top is browned but not burnt.

2010 Best Recipe Round-up

I think it has become tradition among food bloggers to re-visit their favorite recipes through the year at the close of the year. It's a place to start fresh just like every human does. You get to see how much you have grown, what you have accomplished and get ideas for what is to come in the New Year.

My qualifications for choosing recipes this year are simple: what did I love that I made over and over again. What recipe became a staple in my house. With those in mind, I reviewed all the recipes I posted over the year and there were some that stood out clearly.

2010 Garden Gourmet's Best Recipe Round-up

Southern Fried Chicken The easy fool-proof way to get great Fried chicken like Grandma used to make!

Orange Chocolate Chip Scones An amazing flavor combination in the perfect sweet breakfast concoction on the planet.


Vegetable Pot Pie Excellent for late summer and early fall or to clean out the cellar in spring. Hardy root vegetables make this a filling meal. It's a comfort food classic waiting to happen!

Spinach Lasagna This is probably my most requested dish at family dinner's now since I served it up during Easter. A great way to use up prolific spinach from the garden and get plenty of iron in the diet!

Buttermilk Cupcakes with Chocolate Icing Easy cupcakes that require little effort and ingredients are usually on hand for quick fixes for last minute birthday get togethers, impromptu girl's night etc.

Ina's Coleslaw A hearty twist to a simple coleslaw this version can be eaten alone or piled high on your favorite summer burger or dog. Much more colorful then the tired classic.

If you haven't done so already, definately add these great recipes to your collection. I promise you won't be dissappointed! I hope your year was as full of good food, family and joy as mine has turned out to be. May our New Year be just as adventurous and full of great flavor and family.

Christmas Snow 2010

Here in North Carolina, it is a very rare occurrence to get a White Christmas. We sing along to Bing Crosby every year with little hope that it will come true. 2010 set a record though, not only did we get snow on Christmas but we got the most accumulation on record for Christmas Snow surpassing the previous record set in 1947.

Here's a glimpse of Our Snowy Christmas Home for 2010! I hope you enjoy it as much as we have!

Christmas Snow 2010

Here in North Carolina, it is a very rare occurrence to get a White Christmas. We sing along to Bing Crosby every year with little hope that it will come true. 2010 set a record though, not only did we get snow on Christmas but we got the most accumulation on record for Christmas Snow surpassing the previous record set in 1947.

Here's a glimpse of Our Snowy Christmas Home for 2010! I hope you enjoy it as much as we have!

Lemon Sugar Cookie Bars

I whipped up one last cookie concoction for Christmas at the last minute that turned out to be my favorite cookie treat. If it's possible I think this is even easier then cookies. I put a twist on it as I am all about anything and everything lemon at the moment (how's that for a pregnancy craving?).

Lemon Sugar Cookie Bars
1 cup Butter (softened)
2 cups sugar
4 eggs
1 tsp vanilla
1 tsp lemon extract
5 cups self-rising flour

Cream butter and sugar. Add eggs, one at a time, with mixer on. Add vanilla and lemon and mix well. Add flour in a little at a time (at least in thirds). Spread on a greased baking sheet (I used a 13 x 9 casserole dish and they were a little thick).

Bake at 375 for 15-25 minutes depending on thickness. Make sure they are light golden brown and a knife comes out clean from the center. Cool completely before frosting.

Lemon Buttercream Frosting
2 sticks unsalted, butter, softened
2 tsp lemon extract
pinch of salt
5 cups of powdered sugar
3 tbs milk

Cream butter and lemon extract. Add salt. Slowly add powdered sugar. Do not add more until what you have added is completely incorporated. Add milk 1 tbs at a time for creaminess. (I added a little before I was finished incorporating all the sugar).

Frost Cookies, sprinkle with festive sanding sugar and cut into bars!

Christmas Letter to my son

Dear Matthew,
It's Christmas night and I'm snuggled on the sofa in pajamas with the lights glowing from the Christmas tree thinking of you. I'm actually a little surprised you are not moving more after that last sugar cookie bar I ate but its been a busy day for you too. Today was an amazing day. It was actually a white Christmas which is very rare in North Carolina. We weren't able to stay at Grandma's as long as we normally would because the roads were getting bad and we had a long drive home. Luckily we were able to use Daddy's four wheel drive on the last leg of the journey when things got a tad slippery so you never knew a moment of discomfort that a ditch plus seatbelt might have brought to you but I am VERY Glad we are home and snuggly and safe.

Grandma (or as she wants to be called NANNA) and your Auntie were very excited to feel you move and kick today. I'm sorry they kept pressing on you and aggravated you but thank you for obliging them. It was a very sweet Christmas present.

You would not believe the amount of things we got for you today from the family. You have some great toys and items waiting for your arrival. Daddy and I need to work really hard on your room over the next few weeks so we can have a place to put all this stuff but for now I'm enjoying looking at it piled under the tree and thinking what next Christmas will bring to you. Excitement and bows and papers and boxes because I have no delusions that you will be more interested in that then anything Santa may bring for you!

The endless possibilities and joy are such an amazing thing to think about tonight. I can't wait to see Christmas through your eyes and watch you grow but don't grow too fast okay? Don't grow up on me. For now, you are all mine to hold and love but soon I have to share you with Daddy more and let you grow and explore. While I can't wait for all that, I don't want everything to happen too fast. The greatest present I have this year is feeling you and knowing you are happy and healthy in there. Even as I type this, you are moving and getting comfy and it brings such peace to my life.

Next year, I will be rocking you to sleep under the glow of Christmas lights. Placing you in a warm crib on a peaceful night and reflecting on what an amazing year it was. In years to come, I can see you falling asleep amidst your toys under the tree with dogs curled around you as your daddy gently picks you up and totes you to your room to tuck you in. Such wonderful images to treasure as I think of you tonight. Daddy and I love you with all our hearts and are so happy this year all because of you. You are our true present today, knowing you are with us and we will be meeting you soon. I could not have asked for a better gift and so you have your name. Matthew which means Gift from God and honors Daddy's best friend who is in Heaven. You are truly our gift baby boy and I hope we can gift to you an amazing life full of opportunity, hope and love. Be well sweetheart.

Love,
Your Mama

Holiday Cookie Roundup 2010

This past week I have been baking away. This holiday I focused purely on cookies which tailored my baking and reduced stress. It's not too late to whip up one of these fast and easy recipes tonight for Santa's visit or in the morning to give as gifts or take along to family events. Wishing you a Very Merry Christmas from my Cookie Filled Home to yours!

Neiman Marcus Cookies

Peppermint Bark Cookies

White Chocolate Cranberry Oatmeal Cookies

Oatmeal Butterscotch Cookies

Ginger Cookies

S'mores Cookies