Friday, January 7, 2011

Effortlessly Cool

I've always wondered what it is about certain people that have the ability to be cool without trying. Oh they may try to keep up appearances, standards, dress codes etc. but they have this innate ability to instantly join the cool crowd without effort. Whether its the girl in highschool, the "it" blogger, the co-worker who is always front and center.

I'm not talking about the loud boistrous ones who are IN-YOUR-FACE-I'm-THE-COOL-SHIT. Those are usually the ones everyone tolerates for some unknown reason but no one really likes them. They try too hard and are too demanding in their attempt for the spotlight.

It's the unassuming ones who are there naturally and quietly. They can be the life of the party but also the good friend that everyone wants.

What puts them there? Is it genetics? The "it" factor? Don't get me wrong because I'm not talking about physical beauty. Sometimes the most popular aren't remotely close to being the same as the most beautiful although they tend to run in the same groups. You either have the beauty or the innate ability to be popular. If you have both its devastating to everyone around you. LOL

I've never been the popular one. Oh I've never been the complete outcast. I get along well with others when I want but I also don't care enough to try too hard. I make the occasional witty comeback that can endear me to some but I'm bitchy enough to keep most at bay. I'm a bit stand offish. Those that really know me, know how loyal and comforting I can be. They know my funny side, my vulnerable side but the masses don't. So it always leaves me with a group that adores me, most people know me (even if they don't all like me), and a few who despise me.

My husband, he was the quiet one of the popular kids. The one that no one was quite sure why he was in the popular crowd and not everyone quite remembers him being there. The overly tall, nerdy one with the good drugs that was most likey well known because of relative association (his brother and sister). He did the whacky stunts, but never got too close to many.

Between the two of us, what will we pass on to our son? Is the "it" factor hereditary or by shear chance? Will our son, find success among his pears and be a sociable little butterfly that plays sports or will he be the quiet unassuming one who is friends to many and unknown to other's?

All these thoughts are randomly going through my head as I reflect on my friendships and relationships both past and present. What will my son's life be like and what can I do to make it the best possible? What can I do to equip him with all the tools he needs to be not only a success in life, knowledge and love but with people?

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