Saturday, January 1, 2011

Fat Ladies Eat Small Children

and they cry. It's no secret that I'm overweight. I've talked about it often enough on here and many of you join me in the constant struggle against bodies that fight us back. I've been overweight since puberty. Dieting is not something I do, its a way of life for me and one I was starting to get a handle on once I learned to eat around my PCOS issues. In 2010 I lost 46 lbs before getting pregnant.

I've whined about how I struggle with the pregnancy weight gain and losing control of my body that I was finally gaining control of. It's a daily fight in my own head to accept what is happening to my body to carry this child that I want so badly. I realize that most people probably can't tell I'm pregnant because I just look fat and do not have a pretty little bump. Today however, I was completely humiliated for being fat at the hands of a three year old and her inconsiderate mother.

I have never been more aware of my size than I am today when a little girl and her brother played a shopping cart game of duck down and hide from the "Fat Lady so she doesn't eat us." I was mortified as they pointed and squealed in their high voices: "there she goes, that was close but she might eat us next time" as I pass thier cart.

I was shaking and as the tears started to fall and I purposefully went the opposite direction, I could hear that little high voice "Where did the fat lady go Mom?" And the mother replied? "I don't know, I'm sure you will see her again." "Will she eat us mom?" "She might."

I broke down crying with this conversation ringing in my ears as I stared unseeingly at the aisle of bread. To complete my mortification, people veered around me and wouldn't look me in the face as if I had the plague. For thirty minutes I stood there, with tears streaming down my face and a child's high pitch voice becoming increasingly louder ringing through the store wondering where the Fat Lady who was going to eat them was.

It was all I could do to calmly exit with my pile of groceries that we desperately needed without crawling inside myself and feeling like I was going to die of shame as people stared at me.

Had it been just the mother, I'm sure I would have spouted something off about how humorous it was coming from someone in Pink Velour pants that showed every dimple of her cottage cheese ass bouncing over her knock off designer tennis shoes with the cubic zirconian glinting rather dully on her orange spray tanned fingers. But really, what do you say to someone in front of children who don't know any better? They don't know that they are being insensitive and rude because it was so obviously what they are being taught. What happens in 10 years when that little girl develops an eating disorder or a weight problem? What happens when these children become bullies and cause a girl to kill herself because of her hateful taunts because that just happened in our local high school.

How do you tell a parent off for their complete disregard for appropriate parenting in front of children without making it worse for the kids? Nothing I could have said in that situation would have made a difference for those children. The mother would have just turned it around as a lesson to the children on how fat people are evil and rude and completely belittled the whole point of any sermon I could have spewed at her. How do you fight ignorance and insensitivity?

All I could do was get in my car and know that my son will not behave in such a manner and if he were ever to innocently make an inconsiderate remark I would correct him immediately and teach him how to behave appropriately. MY SON will know kindness and have actual class. That lesson, on how to treat other humans, may be the finest lesson I can bestow upon my son. People are often crap, and its easy to form opinions based upon those examples, but we have to continue to rise above and be the best that we can be and provide better examples when we have learned from experiences such as this.

It hurts. I admit it. It hurt me to my soul. I dropped my groceries and sat in the middle of my kitchen floor balling and hiccuping while my husband tried to soothe me and find out what happened through my garbled stream of words. I questioned my ability to parent and if i was going to be a horrible person because I would be the "fat mom" that the kids make fun of hindering my child's ability to have a normal social life. I questioned everything about my existence as that little voice still echoed through my head. It HURT and I let it hurt me, but I'm not going to hide from it and let it fester. I'm going to post this, and let it out into the world that there are mean people who are raising mean children and I will not be one of them. I may judge harshly and make snap rude comments occasionally but my New Year's Resolution is to try and better control that part of my personality because it is only a part. A small part at that. I'm a nice person with a great capacity to love and give of myself and provide comfort to others and damn it I will be a great mother to a compassionate and giving child.


  1. This is so horrifying. I am so sorry. I wish I could hug you and make it better... and kick that POS mother in the vagina. And those kids would get a serious come to Jesus talk. That is disgusting, and I apologize on behalf of the human race for this excuse for a mother. Your son will be beautiful inside and out thanks to you. ::Hugs::

  2. OMG Krista. Thank you for sharing. We are our children's first and best example, and often their worst example. How that woman could be blind to the lesson she has taught her children is astonishing to me. How she could be blind to the pain it caused you, another human being, angers me.

    I love you, you are amazing, and you will be an amazing mother to your sweet baby boy.

  3. That is absolutely ridiculous.

    It's one thing not to correct your children when they say things like this, but to practically egg it on? Disgusting.

    I'm so sorry you had to hear and process that.

  4. I am so completely pissed off right now. I would have told her off for you. I can't imagine how she could have let her children say those things it is just wrong. I am so heartbroken that your 2011 started out this way.

    Krista, you are beautiful inside and out! I have meet you in person so I know I am right.

  5. Oh my God. I'm shaking with anger at this. That is absolutely inexcusable of the mother not to say something, and horrifying that she would be an active participant.

    For the record, you are a beautiful woman, and I am in awe of the amazing weight loss that you've worked so hard for. You are an incredible inspiration. That you had to hear and endure that is just awful.


  6. I am so very sorry you had to deal with that. You certainly don't deserve that. You are a wonderful and beautiful person (inside and out)

    Don't feel that you are putting your child at a disadvantage being a "fat mom".
    My mom is overweight, and was for much of my childhood. I never felt like that impacted my social life at all. In fact, my friends all loved my mom, because she is caring, strong willed, and has a great sense of humor. From what I have seen on this blog and on BOTB, you are a lot like my mom.
    Your little man is very lucky to have such a great mom, don't ever doubt that.

  7. That is horrible. I'm so sorry that happened to you. I hope some day that woman realizes the lessons she's NOT teaching her children and comes around. I know you will raise your son to be kind.

  8. As a big girl, I feel your pain. And I had to keep from crying myself while reading this. What that mother is teaching her children is inexcusable. I hope her children are able to figure things out. Your son has a beautiful mommy who will teach him right.

  9. I wish I could hug you so hard right now. I am so, so sorry that you had to go through that. Your son will be raised with love and a kind heart. You are a beautiful woman with a beautiful soul and your little man is lucky to have you.

  10. I'm so sorry, love. What a bitch. I cannot believe a parent would encourage that kind of behavior. You're right in that kids will be kids and they'll say things they don't necessarily know will hurt someones feelings. But for that mother to play along is unacceptable. Big hugs to you.

  11. First off, I see your photos over there, and you are GORGEOUS! And then I cried with you.