I’m calm. I’m surprised I’m calm. I POAS again this morning. The line was much darker and showed up right away. I smiled this time. My heart fluttered. The CP was there in the back of my mind and a little part of me feared the line would begin to fade.
My DH claimed he can actually see it now and wants me to pee on the digital so he can see the word pregnant. I assured him I will do that tomorrow. I want to tell my mom. I don’t know how I’ll see her tomorrow night and not tell her!
I want to scream from the rooftops. I want to curl up in the bed with my DH and snuggle. I want to jump out of my skin. I wasn’t expecting excitement. Given circumstances and past experiences, I was expecting to feel reserved fear. Today I feel calm, peace and happiness.
I want to soak up every minute of this child. Every moment I may have. I’ve dutifully called the OB to set up Beta’s and progesterone check. My GP declared me not to take the antibiotics and just follow up with the OB to see what he will have me do. My GP actually returned my call yesterday personally and squealed in my ear. She was so excited.
I didn’t sleep last night. I have so many thoughts running through my head. I vary from being giddily happy to an almost Zen like calmness. (Maybe the lack of sleep). I don’t need answers from the Beta. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt this baby is growing. But I will go through the motions to make sure I do everything possible to keep it that way and prepare myself for what may come.
I want to ramble. I’ve written this twice. I can’t keep my thoughts together. I’m overwhelmed.
First beta draw and progesterone check is today at 1pm. Next Draw is Saturday morning at 9am. OB appt Monday at 3:30pm. ::chews nails:: Why am I nervous? I know I’m pregnant. I have two sticks that tell me so!
I heart Pink Dye Pee sticks at the moment.