Morning After-Our Anniversary

I woke up this morning to dog's whining and NOT my husbands annoying blaring alarm clock. He took today off to be with me during my recovery period. It just so happens to be our anniversary as well. Some may call that convenient, but I think its a little more ironic but not in a funny way.

I was not expecting to feel like I had been in a head-on collision (and I've been in a few so I know). I'm so sore, I can hardly move, but that is so much better then the rending pain of yesterday. I can honestly be thankful it is over, all of it. Even the scary part post surgery where I was disoriented and stopped breathing when they took away the oxygen and had to shove it back up my nose really quickly. Not breathing or knowing what is going is TERRIFYING especially to one who likes to be in control.

The hospital, suctioned my lungs while I was under because apparently there was a lot of yellow mucos lying at the bottom of them. Thanks assholes, you just kicked up my chronic bronchitis of which I am coughing my head off now, which hurts my poor battered body. Do I thank them for sucking out some of the grossness or kick them? When I regain my strength I may kick them.

All in all, despite the soreness and lack of motion/mobility I'm feeling, this day does look a bit brighter then yesterday. This doctor would prefer we don't start trying for atleast three cycles to lessen the risk of miscarriage. We were really hoping to try in one. When we see my regular Dr. for the follow-up we may see what he thinks about splitting the difference if I've healed well. Trying ON the third cycle versus waiting till AFTER the third cycle. Either way I guess it doesn't matter as no matter what we are now TTA until 2010. I thought I would be more upset then this but maybe it hasn't hit me yet. Or maybe the trauma that I just went through has scared me off just a bit if I'm honest with myself. Fortunately, I can produce other things to look forward to besides the nursery and baby. There's a girl's day out for B's birthday, Thanksgiving Dinner and black Friday shopping, Christmas decorating and baking and movies. New Years where we will celebrate beginning to TTC again. While most people cringe at the thought of going through late pregnancy in the summer, I quite relish it. I have a pool, and during the cumbersom months I see no better relaxation and exercise options then using that. So for me, it may be a good thing.

I'm holding on to all those positives I can wrap my brain around right now.