Tuesday, August 3, 2010

I hear the fat lady singing

IT didn't take long did it? Before she warmed up her voice. The Dr. called to give me my Beta results. At 24dpo they are 4539. Nearly 120 hours after the last beta draw which was 1252. So they aren't doubling anymore. Combine that with measuring a week behind on the ultrasound and its a clear sign this pregnancy is doomed. I don't think I can even hold out hope anymore.

I think at this point I just want it to be over so I have less risk of having to have a D & C. Something has to be wrong. I can get pregnant with meds but not carry. I don't understand.

I had actually settled into a calmer place this morning. I had even written a positie blog post about letting it be in God's hands...and then the Dr. called. So much for that peaceful shit.

Now I'm sitting at work trying to figure out how to get through an entire day knowing my child is basically dying inside me as I sit here.


  1. this is just incredibly unfair. I am praying for a miracle or for it to be quickly over for you. God only knows his plan (which I personally think He should share with us), thinking of you~~~(((HUGS)))I wish there were better words.

  2. I'm so sorry. I will continue to pray for you and the baby. Please call me if you need to.