I was terrorized in the bathroom today. Imagine, if you will, sitting there, minding my business, innocently browsing the internet on my phone while my stomach performed acrobatic feats of amazement. When suddenly, under the stall door scuttled the biggest spider I’ve seen in quite some time. As big as my fist (counting legs) and brown with black stripes, he walked in as nonchalantly as you please. I froze. I held my breath. I was trapped on a toilet. He was too far away to stomp with the element of surprise. So I finally braced myself and jerked my foot towards him. He jumped backwards (and man can he jump into the air) but did not leave. He planted himself outside the door like a guard waiting to pounce. I quickly pulled myself together and prepared to make a running sissy girl exit from the bathroom with a scream lodged in the back of my throat. (I do not deal well with spiders, especially ones of gigantic proportions).
When I opened the bathroom door, it startled him enough to go flying into the middle of the room. OMG, I almost passed out at the sight of him moving so fast in that creepy multilegged run. I breathed deeply and kept my back to the wall as I worked my way slowly around the room towards the door. It was like a wild west shootout. There we stood in the blazing flourescent lights and dusty tile waiting to see who would draw first. He did circles in the center waiting to attack but I made it to the door and out with amazing speed. I hiked through the building to the farthest bathroom to finish my business.
On my way back, I headed off one of my co-workers who was headed that way and told her about the ginormous attack spider lurking in the bathroom. Being more level headed than I (as I planned to just avoid that bathroom on a permanent basis) she grabbed one of the big strapping men that are rampant in this joint, to go in and spider hunt. He found him lurking behind the trashcan just inside the door waiting to take a poor innocent female by surprise. Man of the big feet effectively stomped said attack spider and the women’s bathroom is safe once again. I highly doubt I will be spending any time in there soon though as I am effectively CREEPED out!