“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let our requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things.” Philippians 4:6-8
I try to be a positive and supportive person. I have my moments of pure bitchdom (Who doesn’t?) I have my moments of wallowing in the negative (I’m not perfect.) I occasionally get into funks (sometimes a good funk is rejuvenating). Overall though I like to think I don’t dwell too long on bad things and I try to turn them into ways I can be a strong supporter and leader of those who are going through the same issue because I’ve already been there (holy run-on sentence batman). That’s how I deal with things. I turn them around and use them to help others. At least I try to. The past few weeks have been rather difficult because every time I think I have myself under control and calm, I get more news that doesn’t, well let’s just say, sit well.
This passage means the world to me because it speaks volumes about who I am. Who I TRULY am most of the time. I try to rejoice in the good, the blessings, the pure. I focus on that when some people want to smack me because they aren’t done wallowing. What’s more than that though, is it tells me not to be anxious; to let the peace of God guard our hearts and minds. We’ve always known to cast our burdens upon him but it’s easier said then done.
I know I can not change the outcome of this pregnancy. If it’s good, none of these numbers or questions will matter. If it’s bad, there’s nothing I can do to save it by gathering all this information. I have to wait and see. I have to pray that it is God’s will and whatever happens, he makes me okay with that will. I have to be strong.
I can’t promise I won’t grab a reservation for a pity party of one again, but for today, I’m resilient and I’m at peace. I’m dwelling on the fact that I’m pregnant, and the sac looks good, my husband is happy and excited, and I don’t have morning sickness so far. Those are definitely excellent things. Thank you God! (and Thank You Isha!)