AF is on her way. The puberty inspired pizza face, the cramps, the aches and tenderness, the exhaustion and the driving temperatures all tell me so. I’m not sure when, as this would be an insanely short LP for me (so much for that whole LP always being the same, mine NEVER is), but she will scurry forth soon and it will be back to square one with fertility. We will have to see an RE and my insurance covers NONE of that so we basically will be on our own. I have too many medical bills to pay off (deductibles for D & E, HSG, Cat Scan on my lungs etc.) to afford the RE right now. So unless a miracle happens, 2011 may be out for a due date as well. Another year wasted. I will cross that emotional bridge when we get there though. I can’t think about that right now or I will sink into a foul depression I’m not sure I can pull out of.
I’m continuing with the improving of my diet to allow my body to better function with the PCOS. The Metformin lowers my blood sugar which is not high to begin with, its average. So combine that with the clomid and I am munchy/hungry ALL.THE.TIME. I’ve never been one to eat often. One of my biggest problems- I would drink coffee all day long and eat a large dinner. That’s it. I’ve vastly improved those habits but I’m not quite to eating small bits of food every few hours. Its hard for me to remember to “pack” enough food to eat through the work day. But I’m getting better. Somedays are better than others.
I was able to drop those horrid 6 pounds I packed back on last weekend. So I am almost back to my lowest weight-44 lbs down, 3 pounds from my goal. And that’s WITH eating a Hardee’s Frisco burger (no bacon or fries with water). I know. I KNOW! Not much better but I tried. I still have my weak moments.
I have a lovely menu plan this week and I am hoping that will help me finally reach this goal weight. I NEED this small victory in my life right now. I need to keep focusing on the positive things so I don’t dwell on the IF. Whoever thought anyone would WANT to focus on weight over something else? LOL
My new find this week: Green Tea. I’ve never liked it before but it is supposed to help with fertility (nothing proven but hey I’m willing to do anything as we know) and it is insanely good for you. Since I don’t drink coffee or soft drinks anymore and just stick to water and milk mostly, the Green Tea is actually very tasty to me now! So I drink one (occasionally two) cup a day plus my water and milk. It has helped me calm my allergy symptoms (not sure its responsible but it’s a hell of a coinkidink no?) and helped me shed the excess water retention. I am ALL about the green tea as part of my daily life now.
If I could only add in consistent exercise to that…as always, that is the ever dangling carrot that I just never quite have the energy to chase after…if only…
And Diana, good job on hosting McFatty Monday. I hope you have great success with yoru weight loss endeavors. I know these Monday's have been awesome inspiration for me and helped keep me on track faithfully...even when I fail and eat Hardees.
Blair, You look AMAZING in your party dress. Good job! I'm so proud of you! I've passed my marriage weight and am at the weight I was when I MET my husband! I'm very excited about that!