We often forget in our obsession with our babies and starting a family that there is an end. All life ends and we take it for granted. Those who have experienced infant loss, know intimately how quickly things end and carry with them a heavy dose of fear for the future.
When we finally get past a comfort point, we know that there are still things that can happen and we retain that apprehension through it all but we find a comfort level. It all floods back in when there is a loss of any kind.
Yesterday, my Uncle died. I’ve lost all my grandparents save one and a year ago I lost a Great Uncle but this is the closest family member to die in a long time. I was not close to him but he was family. I remember the big family holiday dinners when my grandmother was still alive when Uncle Chuck and his wife would come by. They were always
immaculately dressed and proper. I was always in awe of them because they were so put together. My dad respected his oldest brother. There was almost a 20 year difference.
While my father was in diapers, his brother was fighting the German’s in World War II. At a young age he was cleaning out concentration camps and seeing the evils of humanity, greed and power. Yet, he came home to be an upstanding family man and remained true and faithful to his church. He was married for 60 years and raised three children. He suffered losing a granddaughter at the age of 8 who was born with half a heart. He lived a long and productive life and in the end he was able to leave the pain of pancreatic cancer behind and go home to heaven.
Tomorrow will be hard. Tomorrow I have to be strong for my father who is upset and grieving. We lost my grandmother on Thanksgiving 7 years ago. I never met my grandfather. He died 37 years ago before I was born. I can only imagine what is going through my father’s head as his big family ages before his eyes. He just turned 60 (he’s the youngest of 6 children) and I can see the age wearing on him.
Times like this I wonder what the future holds. Will my children get a chance to know their grandparents and have a relationship with them that they can remember. Will they know the joys of a large extended family? Will they get to run wild in the woods playing hide and seek with their cousins?
I started late in life. I’m 32 having my first child. My parents are 58 and 60. Sometimes I wonder what kind of life and traditions my children will remember. They will be different from mine. They will hold things dear to their hearts but will they know the same joys, love, sorrow, I know? Sometimes the future scares me. I can’t imagine life without my parents, cousins, etc. That day is coming but its not today.
Today I have to remember the life of a great family man who was loved by many. Today I have to celebrate the continuance of the circle starting with HLB. There is joy even in the passing. There is a tomorrow even in the dawn of today.