Friday, May 21, 2010

Testing Tomorrow

I am so ready for the weekend. I don’t like talking about work too much on here. It’s no one’s business what goes on in the corporate world. My business life and the rest of my life are separate. There are snippets, vague impressions of the environment but not really any concrete evidence of WHERE I work or what I do. That’s how I like it. I do have to throw out that there is a lot going on here right now, rumors flying, people exiting (that’s being polite and noncommittal about it), mandatory meetings etc. I feel like I’m walking through a farmyard with a bunch of Henny Penny’s screaming “The sky is falling!”

It’s taxing on a body. Really. Stress is not good. I don’t like what is going on but there is nothing I can do so rather than listen to the corporate blather, I choose to stick my head in the sand and huddle at my desk. But until then, I have to get through the day, the high energy stress balls that surround me, the meetings and the fear of the unknown that hangs in the air like the Mark of Voldemort. Am I worried about not having a job to come back to? No. I will be back here on Monday and going through it all again, but today, I’m just trying to get to 5:00pm. To Freedom.

I have so much to do. We are taking the dogs to a Dachshund Festival benefiting a rescue group. At some point, working around the rain, we have to work on the garden. I have plants that need staking, dusting, picking, planting, weeding. I have a house that needs cleaning, grocery shopping to do, and a list a mile long that is not possible to complete in two days. ::sigh::

But the big plan? The big plan is to test on Saturday morning. I tested last night because of the nausea. No dice. Big Fat negative. I’ve had a bad feeling about this cycle from the second week but there is a tiny spark of hope that I will have the ugliest BFP chart EVER and that last night was just too early with 10 dpo and afternoon pee (yea, thanks Isha and Beth for insisting on not giving up thanks to those little factors). I used to NEVER pee on sticks, and now I’ve become obsessed. I hate the negatives, but I just can’t seem to stop myself. So tomorrow morning, I will be up, bright and early, POAS, and will report the results over my morning cup of hot cocoa. You can all be nervous with me.

3 comments:

  1. I really hope that the BFN last night was a big fat too early and that you get that BFP tomorrow. I have so much hope for you.

    xoxo

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  2. oh girlie, now you are going to have me getting up early checking on your blog! 12dpo is tomorrow right.?..could still be early, but I would test too! GL GL GL I will be hoping for you.

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  3. I'm praying for you! I got decent news today, so let's just hope it's in the air!

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