Thursday, April 2, 2009

Side Effects

Faithful bloggers, be you few, I do apologize for not writing in almost a week. It’s not that I had nothing to say (I mean really, me, the mouth of the south, having nothing to say? I don’t think so), just that time got away from me.
This week has not been a fun week, between the breakouts, the pain in my side, night sweats and restlessness, headaches and being buried at work, I am exhausted. I am irritable from not sleeping and just feeling all around old and fugly.

You would think, that dealing with ALL of this stuff, it would mean my body would cooperate a bit with me and Ovulate or something, but so far, NOTHING. My darling husband has been participating beyond my wildest expectations with this whole process. As I will hold nothing back from you, I will admit that he is even checking CM and cervix position every night for me. Probably sounds weird to most of you but I have an extremely abnormally high cervix to the point my Dr. has trouble getting to it (see the HSG recap post). I have never been able to feel it and this frustrates me trying to chart. So my DH with his long fingers has taken over this function. (He can barely reach it). I must admit that was sweet and kind of hysterical the first few nights of him trying to compare what he’s feeling with the pictures and information in the TCOYF book. He knows what he’s doing now and while it is still a bit embarrassing for me (I can’t even check my own body wtf?), I am happy that my husband is being so considerate and helping instead of blaming me for being broken or letting me DEAL with the issues since they are mine alone. He truly is in this with me through thick, thin, good, bad and bitchy utes.
I know it’s early in the cycle yet, but it’s hard not getting slightly frustrated when you are this exhausted and NOTHING is changing. My cervix is closed up like Fort Knox and I’m tired of seeing negatives on the OPK’s. I’m still staying hopeful that Clomid will work for me and it’s only the first month (and early) and a low dose but the side effects are making me anxious and cranky. I can only imagine what the higher doses are going to do to me. I thought I was doing well. When I was actually TAKING the pills, there were little to no side effects. I though it was going to be a breeze. Nope, it hits me a week later. Is this normal? I have no idea. Maybe a question I should ask the BOTB girls. May be a stupid question, but it is mine none the less and I will embrace it because frankly I want to know if my body is even more weird then I thought it was.

So there it is: A recap of crappy rundown irritating week. I need sleep. Positive thought for the day: Next week is a short week and I get a few days off work. Second Positive for the day: my husband rocks for being so good to me about all this.

3 comments:

  1. Blogger ate my comment. Humfph.
    Regardless, *huggles* I am sorry it is like this, and you will have your baby in your ute before you know it!
    Also, I lurve that you have positive thoughts too! :)

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  2. I told you I would post positive thoughts along with you ;)

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  3. I must say, it's awesome your DH does this for you! If I even mention the words mucus or eggwhite around mine, he runs for cover.

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