Holy Cow

Welcome to the next few weeks of freaking out on my part until AF comes. Please understand I am not fishing or implying. I'm just freaking excited. It has been TWO years of TTC. In those two years I have not had any signs of ovulation, fertile CM, and since I've been charting have not had cross hairs, thermal shift etc. This chart is completely new to me and every morning that I get another high temp and those crosshairs remain there, I breathe a sigh of relief as well as get a little more nervous. HOLY COW could I finally be pregnant? Did it finally work? Could it really be that simple that one low dose round of clomid could work? All the stress and that's all it took really?

Then there is the other side. We become so complacent that it is never going to happen that even our hope becomes complacent. We haven't thought about all the changes that will happen in so long because they seemed so distant that along with this excitement is FREAK OUT time. OMG, what did we do? Are we really ready for this? The answers are ofcourse yes. I want to be a mom. I want to share childish giggles, new adventures, a wonderous world through the eyes of my child. HOLY COW though!!

I've watched girls on BOTB go through the 2WW and I know its difficult and I was prepared for it to be difficult but I NEVER expected it to be this pins and needles, emotional ups and downs, stressful difficult. The mornings are the worst. That whole morning temp nervousness then excitement, then STARING at my chart thing is crazy. During the day is fine. I go about my business, no big deal. The evening it creeps back in my head and I'm like..one more day down, I have to temp in the morning! It is definately a new experience for me. I know I don't have a huge chance of getting the BFP this month due to first month of Clomid, anovulatory past cycles, rupturing of cyst and the not absolutely believing I really did O and/or that we timed it right, BUT it is still an entirely new experience for me.

I hope I don't run all my readers away over the next week or so because of my consant rambling about every dip, increase etc in my temp/chart!! I will try to think of a few good things to talk about other than my temp! LOL