The dreaded debacle: Swimsuit shopping. I have not purchased a swimsuit in 5 years. Everytime I go, I am tortured and depressed with the selection and how they look. The swimsuits I love are over 100.00 and I just can't see paying that. Back in the day they were 40 or 50 and I can justify that, but 100? for underwire and shaping panels? No.
So every year I torture myself with the marathon run of stores before the first pool party that always leaves me ill, depressed and pissed off. My poor husband hates these trips and bless his heart, accompanies me EVERY year. I usually throw a temper tantrum in Macy's and go home empty handed. This year was not much different. My temper tantrum was in the car, but I still had one.
I did end up in a last second ditch effort of necessity (all my bathing suits are thread bare with dry rotted elastic and material) buy a two piece at Walmart. It does not have the desperately sought after underwire for bodacious boob support but it is comfortable and a little bit cute with the flat skirted hip hugging bottoms.
What I didn't do? Follow a friends advice to buy a maternity suit as they have "better boob support". Yes she did it, and has an adorable tankini that does not look like a maternity suit but the emotional ramifications for me was a bit much especially in my state of heightened psychosis. I just could not bring myself to go the maternity section.
What if someone said "oh when are you due?" I would have cried or smacked them (or knowing me, smacked them then cried as they were hauling me out in front of news cameras from Target) ha ha. I'm so paranoid about "jinxing" myself which is absolutely absurd I know, but also I just don't want to deal with the emotions of being a barren woman buying maternity and baby stuff. Both makes me sound/look crazy but I just can't help myself.
So my big boobs and I, while great for getting car information, had a traumatic Friday evening in the bathing suit delimma of 2009.