Thursday, June 11, 2009

WTF Chart

Why is this fair? Round TWO of Clomid, I had the most horrible beginnings to the month. This was a really hard month for me to the point I still haven't decided if I am doing another round. My sex drive went to ZERO, not just I don't feel like having sex but a GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME OR I WILL CHOP IT OFF type Zero (just scroll back through the blog, those entries are there).

I gave up on this cycle. My chart was so obviously annovulatory and it was dragging out and at one point I tried to quit temping but that didn't last I kept temping and just didn't enter the info into FF. The past few days I've noticed an excess of discharge (which I never have). Yesterday the tiniest bit of spotting, hardly noticeable AT ALL, so I'm thinking AF is finally on her way. Here's a little TMI: last night I finally "serviced" DH and I noticed some twinges of pain (if you didn't read my blog over a month ago, I had serious pain with a cyst rupturing during ovulation to the point sex was almost impossible. Then today I noticed a jump in temp. So I imput the past several temps into FF and what do I get? FUCKING CROSSHAIRS. Are you kidding me? OVULATION on day 49? Ofcourse we didn't have sex in time if it were real. WHO THE HELL OVULATES on day 49? Oh wait, that COULD be me.

I'm ready to stab myself, I'm so frustrated right now. I guess if AF shows her dirty face in 9 more days I will know I ovulated as that would be my LP. Then I will be even more pissed that thanks to my fucked up body I missed a chance AGAIN.

I was done with this cycle. I was over it. Now I'm crying because I may have given up too soon. My emotional wreckage of yesterday may not have been PMS but a surge of hormones from Ovulation. Just effin great. I'm not technically in a 2 week wait as there is nothing to WAIT on, since we didn't have sex. This is just extremely depressing at this point. I truly think this is WORSE then not ovulating at all.


  1. Oh, Buckin, I'm sorry! This process is so frustrating and unfair. I wish this were different for you.

  2. Oh, honey, I feel your pain.
    I wish I had some wise words...
    Just know you're not alone.