God, It's Me, Buckin

I'm a little curious as to what I've done to offend you. Just when I think things are finally straightening out and some good things are going to happen, I get slapped back down. More and more I feel as if my PCOS is a punishment for past transgressions even though, scientifically I inherited this issue, I must have done something in a past life or am paying for the sins of my ancestors.
I am also tired of every week being on a roller coaster with one of my jobs which is not helping with my mental stability. The past two weeks I have had lay off scares from my pathetic full time job that is paying me crap but atleast it is an income in this topsy turvy economy. This week, it is my psychotic client who is so highstrung she can't keep her mind together for five damn minutes and is now threatening to walk on TWO transactions which will in effect finish my Real Estate career as I have so much money tied up in advertising etc. on these two properties that if they do not close, I can't afford to renew my license for next year. I'm banking, literally, on these contracts and when (because its pretty much inevitable thanks to her stupidity and self centeredness) they fall apart I'm going to completely and utterly lose my sanity.
I have been a mental basket case for the past several weeks. It has been such an up and down rollercoaster that I never know what day I will be fine and what day I will fall apart or from which direction I am going to get hit. I'm worn out and I'm tired of fighting. I really am.
What is not helping is the Clomid. I'm finally over the symptoms for the month, but no ovulation, no chance in hell of pregnancy. I'm tired of fighting there as well. Yesterday, I got crosshairs on my dilapidated chart. I knew they weren't real and I knew without a shadow of a doubt they would disappear so I saved a picture to prove that I am not losing my mind. As predicted, today they are gone.
There is no part of my life that is not a battle right now. Those battles effect my marriage and my relationships because I'm constantly in inner turmoil. I don't sleep, my energy is gone, I can feel myself slipping into depression and no amount of drugs is going to help me because its external factors that are creating it. So please tell me, what I did to piss you off? Is it because I don't go to church? Is it because I question humanity or have not chosen the path you wished me to take? I'm confused. I'm struggling and I absolutely am not going to be able to hold it together much longer. Please give me strength if you want me to continue to fight. I surrender to your will, but please let me know what it is you want from me.