Thursday, February 4, 2010

All Systems Are Go...

Except my brain. Dr. called in perscription for Metformin and Clomid. So everything is set to begin when AF shows up.

I should be ecstatic, elated, excited and any other e word for happy you can think of.

Instead I'm sitting at my desk scared shitless. I'm past the M/C but not over it. I'm scared of the changes to come, both with Clomid and pregnancy and even a baby. I'm scared to death of going through a Miscarriage again. I don't know if my heart can take it.

I want a baby this year, but I'm truly apprehensive about doing this whole thing again.

And the little devil on my shoulder is taunting me with my recent health issues on top of it.

::curls in a ball and hyperventilites::


  1. my hands started to sweat for you while reading this....I am feeling the exact same way, we are starting to try again naturally as soon as AF arrives...I don't think either one of us will not worry the whole pregnancy till the baby is in our arms....

  2. I'm so sorry you're feeling anxious. I would too if I were in your shoes.
    You're so brave, though. I really admire how strong you are. Just wanted to let you know :).