Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Clomid Day 1

Today is supposed to be the day we start back on Clomid. I had decided due to recent financial strains, that we would put off TTC as much as I didn't want to. Then last weekend happened and my hopes were so high as were DH's.

He really doesn't want me putting off TTC, but I'm trying to be responsible. Honestly, all the things that can go wrong is scarying me to death on the tail end of a m/c and the allergy attack.

I had a mild allergic reaction last night, to my blessed Subway. Same sandwich at the Same location I always get. So there is one of two things that cold have happened:
1) They were busy and were not changing gloves between sandwiches so their gloves could have been contaminated by another food.
2) Something had mold in it (since I have a known mold allergy). This seems more probable to me.

The first thing I noticed was my lips went numb, and then the end of my tongue. My chest got blotchy red and then my face started turning pink. Then my stomach started rolling and my throat got a little itchy and I started coughing. I did manage to stay calm and took a swig of liquid benedryl which promptly knocked my arse out within 10 minutes. I slept through everything else.

This morning my face felt hot but wasn't red so I just drank A LOT of water and I feel okay now. Chest feels a little tight today but I stayed calm and the benedryl kicked it. So that's good.

Not so good when I'm thinking about taking Clomid. Does NOT help the decision. I've been putting it off because I know my husband doesn't want to talk about it. It makes him upset but its tonight or never. We have to discuss this.

I honestly don't know what I want to do. TTC and deal with it as it comes or wait. AGAIN. On one shoulder is a voice saying: You have waited over three years through your struggles of TTC, don't put it off now. On the other, You have waited this long, its not like its going to matter since you will never have a kid anyway.

What to do, what to do.

2 comments:

  1. I want to scream "take the CLOMID" I want you to have your baby!!! But I also recognize that I have NO patience whatsoever! Personally, I feel that financially things will never be perfect and people have babies all the time with large amounts of debt and no spouse. You have a wonderful DH who will love you and that baby and that is all that matters....but truthfully, you know your body and mind so do what works for you and don't feel pressured by this random blogger friend who wants everyone who has lost a baby to become pregnant ASAP!

    Either way I will be here to cheer you on!!! I hope I don't drive you crazy with all my comments (i have a big mouth in real life that gets me into trouble)

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  2. NEVER. I'm a comment whore. I love them!

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